And On That Note... in Ultimate Randomness

Wow, what a week it has been! I wish I could be telling y'all that it was for some good reason, but all in all, it has been a craptastic week in the midst of a craptastic year, decade, century, lifetime...Well, you get the point. For once, though, I will start off with the good part, since it was last Sunday. I spent pretty much the whole day out of the house with my dad. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings and watched the World Cup championship game. Funny, I expected there to be more Argentina fans than Germany fans given the area I live in, but the place nearly exploded when Germany scored the lone goal of the game. We feasted on wings and apps while we tried to watch a little of everything. Managed to catch the end of the Red Sox game along with watching the soccer match. All in all, it was a good time. After that, though, we had already decided to go to a Nashville Sounds game. In 10 years, I had yet to make it out to see our local minor league team, so we went out to watch them play at 6:45. For a change, it wasn't too hot and we had a nice little breeze as the sun went down. We stayed until the 7th inning stretch and the score was tied at 4, but I needed to get back towards home to pick up my buddy at work and drop him off at home. My dad decided to do the driving so we could spend a little more time together. After that was all said and done, my dad dropped me off at home and I tried to get some sleep, though I think I was as successful that night as I am right now.

Ah so, on to the rest of my week. Well, on Tuesday, my car started running really rough. It was so bad that I felt nervous even driving it. When I stopped to get the codes run on my car, it read a misfire in one of my engine cylinders as well as an EVP leak. Since I was scheduled to work that night driving, I told the managers that if they wanted me to drive, I would need to borrow one of their cars. Fortunately, one of them did and the night went pretty smoothly. During the shift, I got in touch with my father in law, who helps me with my more difficult car stuff. Sure, things between me and the ex are what they are, but if I am being honest, I really think my in-laws tend to take my side when it comes to things. In any case, I am still on really good terms with them. So I had planned to drop my car off at their house on Wednesday so the engine would be cool enough to work on, and my MIL let me borrow one of their vehicles to get to and from work. To start off my Wednesday, I had a dentist appointment to get a filling done. Sounds bad, but when they gave me the gas, I felt more relaxed than I have in years...probably since the last time I had a cavity filled. For whatever reason, I just cannot make my muscles relax themselves they way that I need them to. Still, I was wide awake for the whole thing and carried on with the dentist about hockey and Stephen King books, of which he was just really starting to get into. Honestly, as clear as my mind felt and as relaxed as I was, I think that if I was given some sort of muscle relaxer to keep me going, I would probably get alot more done than I do right now. In any case, after my appointment, I dropped off my car at the in-laws and headed to work. After the work day was over, I headed back to their house to work on the car. Between Wednesday and Thursday nights, we replaced all four spark plugs, one of the ignition coils, managed to fix the hatch on my car, which hasn't opened in over a year, and change my break lights, which have probably been out for 4 or so months. Good thing I drive like I don't realize it, because otherwise I am sure I would have been pulled over for it. As it stands, the only time a cop commented on it was back during the spring when I got pulled over twice in one trip to school, but for different reasons (speeding and running a red light). It sounds bad, but I really wasn't driving that badly. Hell, the second one can be attributed to the light being around a curve which keeps one from seeing the light until they are almost on it. Add to that having just been pulled over a few minutes before and having a little breakdown due to my breakup, and it isn't hard to see how it happened. That was a rough day, let me tell ya. Anyhow, Wednesday and Thursday weren't peaches themselves. Both nights, I got home around 10 PM and had to get right back up and do it all again the next day. The only saving grace was that I didn't have to work Thursday night, which I normally do.

Long story short, we managed to get the car running better, but it still isn't running very well. The plan was for me to drive it a few days, get the codes run again, and see what we could do Sunday. So I managed the easier of the two days, Friday, with little problem, but driving around in my car all day Saturday made me feel like and earthquake victim. My car was shaking enough that every time I got out, I still felt like everything was shaking. Not very fun. So Sunday, I went back over to my in-laws. When I got the codes run, it still came up with the same two as before. We fiddled with the engine for a little while, but they had made plans to go driving, so they left after a couple hours. I fiddled around with it what little I could, and then gave up with little result. Right now, the plan is for me to go back this Wednesday to work on it some more. I ended up hanging out at their house until almost 9, when I went and picked up my coworker at the pizza place. In case I haven't mentioned it before, my coworker is an older guy who lives a fair distance from the store. However, our boss won't approve a transfer, and his kids, who he lives with, won't give him a ride to or from work. For awhile, my boss was doing the trip both ways, but was way overcharging him for gas money. So I took over giving him a lift to work on Friday mornings, and from work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night, the only three days he works. Still, they are 12-14 hour days, so he gets his time in. And I just tell him to throw me 10 bucks every now and then when he can afford it. I wouldn't charge him at all, but I think he would feel bad if I didn't take something, so I just let him pay me when he can, but I never press him for it. His kids and son in law don't take really good care of him at all, so I do what I can. Hell, they don't even let him eat the food in the house, so I make up a couple sandwiches at the cafe for him, which surprisingly last damn near a week. In any case, I do what I can, and in return, he gets to listen to me bemoan my life. We both suffer from depression and have a bleak outlook on life, so we tend to understand each other's viewpoints.

Otherwise, all carries on as it has. Everyone pretty much knows at this point that I am not going back to school this semester. I don't think anyone has caught on yet that I really don't think I will ever be going back, but I find it hard to believe that my inner fire that drives my learning will ever come back. So at some point, I need to find a full time job and stop working at the pizza place. It would be alot easier on my car, I know that much. On top of that, it is the only way I will be able to support myself eventually. When the time comes, I wonder how surprised people will be when I just seem to disappear, though, for the most part, I have very little communication or interaction with anyone but coworkers anymore. I have done a solid job of isolating myself. It sucks, and isn't what I really want, but given that what I really want is to be loved and have my life make sense again, I am not expecting a miracle to happen. So the best I can do for everyone is to make things less complicated by taking myself out of the picture. I am pretty sure that covers everything, so until next time folks, hope everyone else is doing great and may you all find happiness. If I am so unhappy, there deserves to be enough good for the rest of y'all to balance that out. So good night.