the thoughts right now in Second 1st

This morning I’ve noticed that there have been no new posts on the front page for I would swear 24 hrs.

It’s storming pretty hard this morning, poor dog has decided she’s scared of thunder and lightning. Glad I’m an early riser because she keeps it to herself pretty good. However, being awake milliseconds after she sees the lightning or hears the thunder she’s looking at me for reassurance and pets. I’m honestly getting a kick out of her scare jumps.... but it’s not like I want her to be scared. I took her out to pee and we managed but there was no way she was poopin’. Rocky will let her out again before he leaves but I’ll leave him a message about poop. It shouldn’t be raining so hard when he takes her out.

I have been thinking about Jake’s one year deadline. The statement was to move up there in a year. I’ve talked to Rocky about it a little bit. Would he move with me? I mean I’m sure I don’t want that but honestly Rocky represents safety and security and Jake represents passion and romance. I have to give up one for the other. I shouldn’t have to but that’s what I have to do. With Jake there is no security. Jake knows what he has to do and I guess he has just as long to prove to me he can be stable. On the other side Rocky has just as long to prove he can be passionate and/or romantic. .... he won’t though.... but without security and safety ....

Then again.... it’s a vicious cycle really.... but.... it’s time to get to work so I can think about it all day.