i feel like i should have something interesting to say. in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

so i'll write about this. 'this' being the reason I left my last house and my feelings on it and everything. well I didn't like. up and leave. I left involuntarily and unknowingly.

yeah so apparently according to the people that the lady worked for she was neglecting me. bc when I was out she'd taken like. advil or something and then fell asleep and didn't answer her phone when I called which they knew about which. they saw as a form of neglect. which evidently is a form of abuse. which still seems weird to me cause how can it be abuse if she didn't actually do, anything. well but that's exactly how. it's a helluva thing to wrap your head around. and in all her yrs. of being a provider that's the only time it's happened according to the 1 agency she worked for. there are 2 others she's still working for but to me that doesn't seem like enough justice. oh good so I get to feel like i'm alone here. yeah it's isolating. oh so I get to be the damn exception. oh ok.

and even before she got fired. other things happened. 1 she wanted to isolate me. she once told me 'what goes on here stays here'. ok now I've done some fuked up things and effed people over but i'd never say that to someone. ever. she told that to the wrong person cause I told someone but she. wouldn't've told me that if she didn't think i'd do that. so it sounds like she didn't trust me. or the people. bc I told she lost her job. she didn't tell me what exactly would happen if I told but I figured something would. and she knew something would otherwise. she wouldn't've said that.

while I was living there I wasn't completely comfortable. and looking back yeah I was scared I just didn't fully register it at the time.