Anger in 2023

I get so mad. So fucking pissed. But there’s no one and nothing to be angry at so I just simmer in pain.

Why? What the actual fuck have I done to deserve this?

The douchebag sperm donors, the ex-husband who beat the stuffing out of me for almost a decade, the emotionally constipated serial cheater …

They’re all still alive. Why him? Why Babes? Why? When I was finally fucking happy, omg, after all these years …

Is that why? Because I’m not meant to be happy? Am I not? It took us long enough to finally come together and make it work, all those fucking years apart we wasted, to only get two finally together? How the hell is that fair?! It’s not fair and there isn’t a goddamn thing I can do about it.

15 fucking years, my best friend. Oh Babes, my best friend, my keeper of secrets, the holder of my heart, we were so happy. I should have known. I should have known it couldn’t last.

How dare I be happy finally. How dare I survive all that turmoil & trauma. How dare I find comfort and safety in your arms. I never in my life felt safer and more loved & protected than in your arms.

It just makes me so sick. So angry. Hurt. Betrayed. Alone. Consumed.

Just let me go ..