"We Love The All Of You..." in Hello

I've been pining for 2004 and 1994 here lately. 2004 because that's when my life fell apart, and I'm just now putting it all back together. 1994 because I've been thinking a lot about the music that came out during that time. Have been rediscovering Soul Asylum and Veruca Salt.

I'm extremely tired tonight.

Tomorrow is another paid holiday off for me. A guy could get used to this.

Today at work something occurred to me and it instantly made me sad. I've had to work most Independence Days. Never really put much thought into them. Even though she passed away two years ago, the full realization that I can never again go to my grandmother's house for a cookout and to shoot off fireworks clarified itself today with that thought. I found myself looking down away from what I was doing and just mumbling..."wow..."

I think it is safe to say I miss my family. Have spent a lot of time with bitter resentment towards some but...I don't think my heart is in it anymore since this afternoon. I miss my dad. I miss my uncle. I miss my papa. And yes...she went crazy towards the end...but I miss my granny. Tomorrow mom has to work the evening shift but my buddy Mike and I are going to sit in a parking lot and watch stuff go boom in the night sky. His brother is moving out of state. He's contemplating on moving, too, seeing how he's a Jersey transplant for the last decade plus and has no one here. I'll support him in whatever he wishes to do but I will miss my friend if he leaves.

Work is work...I don't know. I'm all over the place right now.

Nine months sober is right around the corner...I can call it my rebirth hehehehe

Music: "In The Meantime" by Spacehog

Last updated July 04, 2014