Caffeinated in Current Events

I didn’t struggle to fall asleep last night. I woke up multiple times to use the bathroom because I’m an old man now. I woke up at 6 am which used to be my sleeping-in time. I woke up excited to try the mushroom coffee I bought. I didn’t even have a sip before there was a shift in my psyche because I’m still an addict. I drank coffee every morning for twenty years until I quit in February. I knew that I was going to be a lightweight to it. It contains instant coffee powder and promotes it as having very little caffeine. It performed the same way coffee did for me except that I used to make my coffee extremely strong. It tasted like weak instant coffee. I at least feel alive inside today.

I want to go for a run but it is about to rain. It’s not a warm day either. Only going to be +4c. My sister invited me over for a movie night with the kids. I asked her to help me make perogies today also.

I missed this level of energy.

I came up with a plan to talk to my roommate. I’m going to buy a bottle of wine and if we have time this weekend or next weekend I’ll suggest that we have some wine, I’ll make us a pizza and we can watch a movie. It will turn into a cheap wine and conversation kind of night and I will constructively bring up what I need to bring up. I keep having to remind myself that she is not my enemy she is my friend and I care about her.

I have the whole day to myself. I’m not sure what to do with it because I am just vibing from my little caffeine rush. I quit coffee because… well I know it is poison. That is why it works. The body panics and releases a lot of adrenaline which is what wakes us up. Then the liver wants to void it as soon as possible so that is why it makes us defecate. Then the kidneys support the liver and that is why it makes us urinate a lot as well. Seven years ago I quit cigarettes. I quit eggs, meat and dairy. I quit a litany of bad habits along the way as well and I always said that coffee was the line. I would never quit coffee. One week after I last said that I quit coffee. I am learning to trust my inner guidance and when spirit says to go left you go left. All the signs were telling me to quit coffee so I quit coffee. The mushroom coffee is screaming out loud in my head so I am giving it a go. The longterm effects of coffee are why I wanted quit. Disrupts hormone health and such. If this caffeine level is too much, I’ll know. I’m intuitive with my body. So far it is looking to be that way. There is only one caffeine-free option that I have found but it was way too expensive.

Anyway, speaking of coffee. There is one way I continue to use coffee and that is with my enemas. I am going to go start my detox bath and coffee enema.