So far with Allie today. in 1st

The whole day will end up with family. I'm on a break right now while Alicen is with her docs. She will call when she's done but I will head back up to get her before she calls like usually happens. Mom has asked that I bring her by before taking her home....this means instead of being done with my sister by about 5:30 it will be right at 8 which is her curfew and then I still won't be home till 9:30 which means I won't see Rocky today because he will leave closer to 9 ....because mom wants to see her.....

I feel so selfish but not once was I asked what I was doing this afternoon...if it would be ok could you.... But nope I'd like to see Alicen so where can we meet up...anywhere as long as it doesn't take too much gas. ... I know she's been paying lawyers so I will just take Allie to moms adding an hour in travel to my day.....

I hate people.... I mean there are people I don't hate and I don't really hate people it the not being able to act independently that I hate. I need you to do this for me because...oh I can it would just make it easier if you did it.

Like me even going to get Allie today...if mom wanted to spent time with her anyway....by God I'd throw money into moms tank to not spend the 3 hours listening to...."moms never going to let me come home" and "if I can't" or "because I can't" "I should just kill myself". As if she doesn't get enough attention. As if the world should revolve around her.

We were talking about Joshua's behavior that caused the reaction that lead down the path we are on and she actually said she thought he acted that way because he wasn't with his mother. Oh, I straightened that out quick. Josh acted that way because of bad behaviors taught to him by her and had she been there dealing with it when he bit her she would have bit him back. The she would have been in jail instead of mom.

She told me she was scared of moving into a group home because of lesbians! I'm not afraid to say that kinda pisses me off. Told her so, laughed at her for her unrealistic view of lesbians. As if they will go around having sex with anyone with 2 legs and a cat between um. OMG....told her she was being no better than a racist. Then had to explain that. "It's just that if they like me." "At our age Alicen, you won't be the first girl to ever tell them: hey I don't swing that way, could you stop hitting on me please." As if it's really that hard to do. As if a lesbian is any less a feeling individual than her. I just....omg...I seriously dislike dealing with my close minded, selfish, and irritating sister. Her shit is so messed up.