Physical Attraction in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

So I went and saw Lady Gaga on Monday evening. I never really have considered myself a huge fan of hers, I mean, I've always enjoyed her music, but her image and appearances always detested me a little bit. However, I quite enjoyed the show. She is very musically talented and I think her antics sometimes obscure that fact. It was a pleasant enough evening mainly because I went with Richard who always brings fun.

I read about Matt (KissofLife) talking about how he hasn't dated in a long time and that he feels like something's wrong with him. I suppose I used to think that way, but he also mentioned at only really feeling physically attracted versus emotionally attracted or something. I think that's something close to what he said, but I don't remember it exactly so I'm paraphrasing. But the truth is, I'm a little different and I have a very good example of this...

This past weekend, the crew that hangs out at the bar had a pool party and I was invited. I was surprised because most of the time I get left out of these kinds of things. I'm not sure it's intentional, I think that I just tend to slip people's minds. I'm memorable when I'm around, but when I'm not in your face, I'm not at the forefront of your mind... I think that's the trade-off of being as aloof as I am. Well, David, the hot bartender whom I had a crush on a year ago, was there. Now, if you remember, I thought he was just the most attractive thing this side of Ryan Gosling's biceps. My aspirations came crashing down when I ended up hooking up with his boyfriend, Michael, as they had an open relationship, and I'm not sure he ever found out about it, even to this day. Time passed, and I moved beyond the stupid giddiness that happens whenever I like someone, and David and Michael became two of my very good friends.

They broke up recently, but are still living together. Trust me, it causes lots of drama, but they were together for nearly 4 years and had merged lives so it's a slow process moving out of that.

Now, Matt mentions physical attraction, and I was definitely attracted to David when I met him, physically. However, I've discovered that relationship decisions cannot be based on the physical attraction aspect alone. Once I got to know David, I knew that we would not be a good match because our backgrounds are like oil & water. We have been through very similar situations but we have completely different perspectives on each of those things. We were raised in extremely religious households; I cherish the upbringing and understand the tensions that individuals have when confronted with the conflicting institutions of embracing equality and following a spiritual leader. David despises religion and condemns any person who believes in anything... he once shamed a child for her belief in Santa Claus.

There are other similar circumstances but the difference is this: David considers himself a victim and, by extension, an ultimate survivor; I have always considered myself as an oracle that gains knowledge from each of these situations. The difference is that David is constantly throwing it in people's faces about his journey and the trials. I tend to just give the lessons and not harp on the negatives.

I had a similar revelation recently when I was going through my crush on Ben (the nude performance artist I mentioned a few entries ago). Even though we were compatible sexually, I'm not sure that my conservative (and make no mistake, I'm extremely conservative deep-down) nature would be at odds with his constant free-wheeling attitude. I don't expect everyone to conform to my conservative ideals, but I would need to date someone who is not wholly incompatible with my fundamental beliefs (like Edgar was).

THAT is what is important. Physical attraction ebbs and flows based on my own hormonal tides. The trick to finding a boyfriend/girlfriend is not to find someone you can have sex with; it's about finding someone you don't want to strangle when you have to talk to them after sex.