MY LIFE...IN VARIOUS ROLES AND OTHER STORIES... in THE REALITY SOAP: AFTER DAD'S FUNERAL

Welcome back to my life...and various other stories too. How's it doing so far?

It's okay, I guess. I've gone through the first two weeks of my new job and this is the third. So far so good.

I don't know, we'll see. I just want to start over the right way after my last disastrous career. I hope this time I get to stay much longer.

Amen.

I didn't come home last weekend. I'm still angry with Ma for letting the violence that's taken place at her home go unquestioned or be not taken seriously. I mean, come on - we're talking about her grandkids. Their father is obviously a monster.

Do you know what I think?

"Family honour is TRASH if A CHILD'S LIFE is in GRAVE DANGER."

So, they all want me to just keep quiet and stay the hell out of it. It's none of my business, they insist. Some people are with me in this, though, and they believe that I can still do something, at least. Mz.D says it's not too late yet; there's still time.

Still, I'm somehow afraid that it's still not enough. I'm still looking for the right family therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist. Even if I have to start with me, I will. I realise that I really do need to help myself first before I can start helping other people too. That's for sure.

Well, what's next, then? I don't know yet. I'm just getting started here.

So, once again I say this, they want me to just stay the hell out of it, letting my lovely little nephews get another scary possibility: being abused to death by their own father. And they think we all can live with that, shrugging it off as if it's just some event of the day and saying:"That's life"? As if it's just some kid we don't know whose name may come up on the news one day as the dead victim of a child abuse - and all we could ever really say is:"That poor kid", despite our lack of emotional attachment?

I mean, how cold can people really be, especially these days? Nice going, society! Is 'picture-perfect, public appearance' always something to die for?

If anything ever happens to the boys because they do nothing to prevent it (in the name of 'minding their own business'), then I hope they all can live with that. I've already warned them about him ages ago, but - as usual - they've chosen not to listen and ignore me. What else is new?

The thing about abuse is that, the abused victims are often helpless. Not all of them can instantly fight back. (Usually it takes a while. Sometimes there are setbacks, and sometimes the payback can be a real bitch too!)

One thing that people often forget: it's not only the abuser's fault. The silent witnesses who do nothing (especially when they know they can actually do much more if they want to) are as guilty.

I'm sick to death and tired of all this whole hypocritical shit. Enough is enough.

The drama at the school between the staff continues. Janey had resigned from the job before D. left the country. (Tony B. finds that silly, stupid, and unprofessional.) Not only that, but Niko later sent me some pictures of D. with a guy at some night club in the city. D. was slinging his long arm around the guy and the guy - obviously gay - was leaning his head against D's chest as they both smiled to the camera.

I see. So, D's a bi. Poor Janey. If she knew, she'd be crushed. (Or has she already?) I guess there's not much she can do but to just let him go. (Unless she doesn't mind sharing, hehe!)

Do you still remember that late Friday night about a couple of months ago, when Girusi had that huge fight with her ex-boyfriend Patrick before he left this country? And how I'd told her off after that, saying I didn't want to know?

Thank God I'd told her that, though, or I wouldn't have been able to sleep for the rest of that night. I know I sound cold, but that's her problem.

Girusi's pregnant. I don't need to tell you again who the father is. I don't think he's coming back to this country soon - perhaps never.

"She's just a stupid, silly girl - living in a fantasy world," Tony B. told me as he was shaking his head. "She thought she could keep Patrick with that."

Ouch.

"She asked me not to tell anybody," Tony B. went on,"but then she told Duma, Dilah, and even Indri who's only been here for two weeks."

Oh, God. If attention is what this drama queen's been looking for, she's surely getting it now. And no, I'm not on Patrick's side either. He's a coward.

Sympathy? Hmm, not really - especially since we all know what kind of a girl she is when it comes to judging other random girls as whores...

R.