Why Rock The Boat? in Me Being Me

I have decided that with some people I am not going to say anything, because what I have to say is the truth and they just can not accept it and I don’t want to get them any more mad at me then they already are.
I told hubby that I think the landlady should know the reason behind the heat thing here and he told me no don’t say anything because it will just cost her more money so I won’t say anything and everytime she asks I will just tell her it’s “fucking cold in the mornings” and leave it at that. But I have noticed when I say that all she does is shrug and say nothing. And I bet ten to one she is thinking “too bad bitch” “I am better then you because I control everything” And with that I just hate her that much more because not once has she ever asked me why I am always cold or hot. All she cares about is saving money and that is it. But she will spend a lot of money on where she lives upstair because she says she lives there and wants to do that stuff. So because she doesn’t live down here she just doesn’t care and if I get sick and die she will care even less. But then there will be no more rent for her because this place will be condemed and no more renters.
The other thing I have noticed is that when the heat is at 62 there is zero heat comming from the furnace. I do know that no matter what the tempature is in a place that the furnace will get to that tempature and heat should be comming threw the vents but here it doesn’t and I don’t know why. But from what the gas company told me is that it might be something to do with the meter outside. But I am afraid to tell the landlady because she will tell me I am full of shit. But then she doesn’t maintain anything here so that is why I get blamed for things not working and have to be replaced. I have been here for about 10 years and not once has she done anything except change the filter for the furnace. And she has not once come and see what needs to be fixed other them what I told her and she still hasn’t fixed it.
Here is a perfct example of how I make sure what I have is working…
Maybe two weeks ago my kettle’s screen broke and I saw that too much steam was comming out of the spout so i bought a new one that works like it should. And I also have a electric hand moxer and the motor just stopped working when I pluuged it in so I bought a new one and it works perfectly now. And when something that isn’t my responsibility to fix I tell the landlady right away and she always says she will be here to fix it but always waits like a month before it actually gets done because she thinks it’s not a big deal. But it is because it always costs her more money then what it should have.
And when my pipe from the kitchen sink got clogged she started putting this draino crap down the sink and it made the clogg even worse because she didn’t take the pipe off to see just how bad the clog was. So she ended up getting a new pipe. And since she fixed it I have asked if I can have a look at just how clean this pipe is and she said no so now it will be her fault the next time it needs to be replaced. And the screen in my dishwasher is strting to get diet build up and I have asked if i can get rid of it and she said no to that. So it’s not like I don’t want to help but it’s because of her lack of money and time and her lazyness.
I really wan tthis place to be a happy place and I am really trying hard but it’s near impossible to get things done when I am bombarded with “no” at every turn. So the longer this stuff doesn’t get done the more depressed I get and then my displaced anger comes out and in the end it will be the lanlady who gets it. She already got it once and all she said was she was sorry but has not done anything to fix it, like actually talk to me.
But I am thinking that if I just do what I want and not have anything to do with the landlady then maybe I will get to the point where I can actuslly have a home and want to take care of it. But it is really hard to take care of anything when it needs to be repaced, because if I try to clean it it will just get worse. But it is what it is and I will just do the best I can with what I got.

Onto something else…

I have a question that I have been trying to figure out how I can care less and not want to make everyone happy while I am miserable? How can I just not care about people who are suppose to follow the law and get things done right and not be so money hungry? Is it wrong of me to want the landlady get badly hurt or even die? And is it okay for me to hate her? Or is just not caring a better way to go? There is not many people I wish were dead but for the most part they did die for one reason or another and then I thought to myself…Too bad for them.
I just want to be the happy person I once was.

Onto something else....

For dinner tonight I am thinking some sort of fish and maybe taters and a fresh vegetable.
And as for the rest of the day, not much is going to happen....
So this is where I will stop…
Do have a great day…
Be Kind, Be Calm, Be Safe, Behave.

Last updated March 27, 2023