Clog in Current Events

My buddy Mel from work knows the osteopath I will see next week. What a small world. He told me the story before about his friend, who was an osteopath, that fixed his shoulder. I asked him what his name was and sure enough, it was the same person. However, the other part of the story is that they had a falling out. He didn’t want to tell me why but I knew that he would. They used to work at a festival together until Mel had to ban him after witnessing him pressure somebody to try drugs. Mel misses him greatly because they spent many nights having the deepest conversations.

Mel is also pretty confident that this guy and I will hit it off. Just like Alex and Bruce are. As he is describing him to me I asked him if he was a Gemini or Capricorn. He looked up his birthday on his phone and I pulled out his birth chart and sure enough, he has a Capricorn sun and Gemini moon. Both Capricorn and Gemini are great with their hands so he’s probably really skilled at what he does. From looking at his chart, I can see why everybody says we would get along. The same reason Mel and I also hit it off right away. He’s a Gemini rising, Scorpio sun and Capricorn moon. It’s hard to find others that can match each other’s brain energy. Am I really looking to make a friend though? I need my shoulder fixed. He’ll also find other opportunities to create health. I’m just going for a massage first. My benefits from work cover that. I still have to look to see if it covers osteopaths. If we have great conversations in the process, cool!

Anyway, I am also open to meeting the Reiki healer Alex talks about also. I don’t know what that all entails either. I know that it has to do with energy and I feel clogged, in a sense. Emotionally constipated, in a way. Last night, and again this morning, I was thinking about I can’t feel anything. It’s been my new normal for a long time now. I have a lot of love in my life but I cannot feel it. I cannot connect to anything. I feel dead inside when I want to feel alive. I suppose I put my guard up after I almost had a nervous breakdown a few years ago. I was either going to have a breakdown or a breakthrough and I did have a breakthrough but my walls are still up. It’s as though I am just waiting for the rug to be pulled from under me again. Probably need to process my trauma from con-19. Visiting with my niece and nephew is the only thing that can stir up my insides. It’s also as though there are ten things happening internally at once which cancels everything out.

I just had the epiphany that I cannot keep doing things my way. I can’t fix a problem with the same consciousness that created it. I’m not sure what my next step will be but I will probably need to accept help or advice.

Anyway, the day is young so I shall go get my life right.