I would recommend in Journal
- March 3, 2023, 4:13 a.m.
- |
- Public
Every mother to do some kind of pelvic floor physical therapy or exercise. Honestly it should be standard of care. The nameless nagging “stuff” that bothered me is gone. Even my knees feel better. For the first time in years I can stride evenly. It’s crazy how much dysfunction we can just normalize. Even the most obvious physical kind.
However, I remain ambivalent about my therapists. Today, my therapist T told me more about her life and kids. She put her younger in daycare at 4 months old. 4 MONTHS OLD. My baby Lexi is nearly 4 months. I cannot imagine abandoning my baby like that. And yes, it is abandonment.
And yes, it is a choice.
I’m a SAHM. We only have one income. And I can guarantee that income is less than yours. Lol. It’s amazing what you could afford if you didn’t pay for daycare.
And no, I don’t feel for single moms. That too is a choice. I have some sympathy for widows, but again… Choices. We have a huge life insurance policy on us so our kids can always have a parent. Again, amazing what you could afford.
My other therapist (M) I’m pretty sure is a childless lesbian or unattached. Which is fine- at least she’s not abandoning her own motherhood in order to help other mothers.
Which is a strange paradox - I definitely prefer a female midwife. Would I be comfortable with a male PT? Idk. Maybe. For pelvic floor? Idk, but less so. It would depend on the guy.
Also, there is another physical therapist at the center who stares at me. I have caught him staring like 4 times. It’s totally weird. At first I thought he was looking at T, but no, he was not. Definitely not okay with men like that doing pelvic floor therapy. And it’s just gross. Like, dude, I’m not only a patient, but I have kids and I’m married. He’s not unattractive, physically, as most PT’s are in great shape and he’s no exception. But damn, it is vomit worthy disgusting to me for a man to stare blatantly at a married woman with kids. And no I don’t dress provocatively. I actually look kind of frumpy bc I haven’t changed my wardrobe for like 3 years. 🥲
So therein lies a conundrum. I feel like I’m enabling the abandonment of children to have a young mom PT. And men are something I’d want to avoid in that department. Yet, there are always older women, women with no kids, etc. My midwife was older, and she had 5 kids before becoming a midwife, and finally retiring after 30 something years. That is a good long career. I want to support women like her (and we did, but she’s retired now).
And maybe it’s just part of the compromise. Finding people who have values that I want to support is difficult, and does therefore cost more in resources. Since we’re single income we can’t necessarily take our pick. We paid for the midwife out of pocket, and there’s only so much room in the budget. So there are limits to what we can afford… But I’d choose a suboptimal PT over going to work when my babies need their mom.
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