White Flag in Current Events

I’m usually very decisive which is why I am so tortured by this physics class. Do I stay or do I go?

I was confident that I had my mind made up that I would drop this physics class because I couldn’t rise to the challenge. I gave up studying because I gave up on it in my mind. To prove that I was lost cause I decided to go over the practice questions for the first unit this morning and I got most of the answers right so far. If the equation requires trigonometry I am a lost cause. When I look at the answer keys whenever I get the wrong answers I had to square root something. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why that decision was made. Now I’m on the fence again. This mental teetering is torture because I am usually decisive. The test is this evening. If I go then I will continue with this class. If I stay home then I quit the class. Of course, the third option is to go and see how I perform on the test before I give up.

There is a fourth option, however. I can take the course next semester and train myself to be a mathlete until then. I didn’t take grade 11 physics, I jumped right in. I didn’t take any calculus either. I will be taking chemistry next which I need but I can also take physics as they do not cross paths. I don’t need physics, it would just be unfinished business at that point. There is also a fifth option where I stick with this class and fail miserably and just retake it. I don’t want to take the shame of that one.

I have a long list of material that I wanted to learn which I will have time for since I won’t be starting chemistry until September. I struggled with my previous class because I was so out of touch. I did pass it but I can use this time to get in touch again. Blah

I have a six-day weekend from work. I won’t even complain because I want that time to myself. Jaded as I am about not getting that full-time position, I originally wanted it this way. Perhaps not this severe but I wanted this extra time to focus on school. If I drop this physics class, which I don’t need (it’s just playtime), then what am I going to do with myself? I could look for a second gig, yes. I have it in my mind that I could create a second gig also. Decisions decisions.

Ok, I am going to go run some errands. Maybe I should grab some wine for myself to take some of this edge off later this evening. Nah.