Weekend. in Since OD is shutting down....

So since there was no school yesterday, we went to the YMCA where there’s childcare and I walked a mile and a half on the treadmill and then we went to a movie. It was super fun. It was snowing when we got there but wasn’t sticking to the roads yet and then I picked up my medications. We got home and just hung out and then went to bed. My daughter woke up puking at 2am so I had to shampoo the carpet by my bed and give her a bath. We stayed up until about 5 and then she slept until 10am. I got up, made breakfast and enjoyed the quiet time I got.

My parents came this morning and then I went with my Dad to get his hair cut and then picked up some stuff at the store. I washed the blanket that had puke on it and it smells so good now. I made hot dogs for lunch and now we are just watching a movie. My brother apparently told my Mom that he planned to pick up my daughter today but no one has heard anything else. I’m just glad my Mom didn’t say anything to her about it today while she watched her for a few minutes because then I would have had my kid bummed out for the rest of the weekend.

I told my daughter the other day that we are going to get to start doing more of our own stuff on weekends and if we see my niece, then we do and if not, that’s alright too. I can’t handle the stress every weekend if we are going to see her or if she’s going to spend the night. We have plenty we can go do and keep ourselves entertained. Dealing with this has became emotionally taxing and I’m sick of it. I just don’t appreciate my brother telling my kid she was going to go over there and hang out and then it just doesn’t happen. I don’t bother to confront him anymore because he just turns it around on me and then I end up irate.

It’s very hurtful to me that my daughter doesn’t mean much to anyone. I can’t stand how she’s just always been on shelf with the people that are supposed to love her. Even with me trying to get her into that program with her hanging out with someone a little older hasn’t worked out. The lady text me the other day to say she still hasn’t gotten ahold of her and it’s like okay well why do people sign up for this kinda stuff if they aren’t prepared to go through with it. It just ends up a disapointment for a small child.

Anyways, I did the dishes, shampoo some carpet, took a shower and made lunch. My daughter hasn’t asked about my niece at all and I hope she doesn’t because I don’t know what to say anymore. I know she gets tired of just hanging around with me but no matter how much I try with others, it never changes. I just wish people EVER considered how they make my daughter feel! It is what it is I guess.

I’ve been thinking more about going back to school. I’m scared because college is hard and I really don’t want to take on more debt. I also don’t know what to do about getting a job either. I know that I need to make it clear that if my kid has to be picked up from school, there’s probably no one else to get her so I would have to leave. I don’t see that happening too often but I want to know that if I had to, that that I wouldn’t lose my job.

All I know is that I have to keep trucking along and just make the best of my situation. I am mindful of how much time I have though because come July, I have to be planning on going back to school or working because otherwise,