Processed Moods in Current Events

I spent the whole day in bed. I even ate in bed. Nothing nutritious. I am letting myself wallow a bit. I failed at something, I’ll get over it. I could have been more productive today but I could have also done worse things to manage my mood.

I’m not sure what I am going to do now while I wait until September for the next course. I’ll think of something.

I have been kind of numb today. I don’t know what to think or feel. I feel a little needy. Nobody knows what to say and it is making me frustrated with them. I keep that to myself, of course. I’m just laying low and hiding from the world. Shrinking my surroundings. I have the privilege of doing so at the moment. Carpe diem.

My roommate left me the biggest mess to clean up in the kitchen to date. I just cleaned it up. What else am I going to do? My dreams have been so vivid, mostly during my naps. I dreamt about her alopecia. It was so bad in my dream. She started smoking weed again but seems to be making up for the lost time. Yesterday she said to me God I missed weed. I felt the urge to say don’t you miss having a full head of hair? She incurred two autoimmune diseases since she got fully vaxxed. Alopecia and Psoriasis. She is in denial that it is related. She does not have the discipline to make it better. She will take the allopathic route which makes things worse. Her liver is already shot. Nobody is trying to clean out her body. She abused it with alcohol which was out of control when we moved in together. Her weed doesn’t help. I don’t know what her diet was before we moved in together but I suspect it was all junk food. That’s the majority of what she eats because of her weed-induced snack attacks. Poor girl. I felt so bad for her in my dream. I feel somewhat bad for her now but I’m more frustrated because she refuses to be intelligent.

Of course, I am battling my own “hair loss”. I have a new hairline, essentially. I’m at that age. I started something new and I appear to have results happening. It’s only been a month so I’m not getting my hopes up. I made a spray with rosemary & clove. I added castor oil and rosemary oil as well. It smells nice, at least. I still use DMSO. I have a lot of baby hairs which have gotten really long. The rosemary blocks DHT, castor oil breaks down waste and removes it under the skin, and DMSO is a potent anti-inflammatory. Castor oil could be used to break down cysts, fibrosis, tumours, etc. But nobody is thinking about cleaning out their bodies.

I spent my evening yesterday casually looking into the various natural ways to heal. Cayenne pepper is a little miracle worker. Of course, I should preface that germ theory is a baseless superstitious hoax. Terrain theory has the science and exposes what this healthscare system is doing to us. The body removes waste and repairs damage, that’s it. Symptoms are the cure but we suppress them like idiots because we think we’re possessed by a virus. Naturopaths support the symptoms and use nature to heal because when you add something to the body that doesn’t belong there it creates disease. All those disease states we all know and love are created and not caught.

I suppose I was trying to connect to what my naturopath goals are. I had a minor setback, I’ll get over it. There is plenty of opportunity here while I wait for the next semester to start up. Anyway, I am going to go lay around some more. Tomorrow I will clean my act up and move on with my life. I would rather take a day to feel sorry for myself than let something eat me alive while I’m trying to be okay. I’m not a self-medicator, I have a weird process. Whatever.