the last of diary stuff in Second 1st

The night Chris was born so many of her friends had come to see her in the hospital. Jake and I of course.... Lindsey and Stephen.... Krista, baby daddy (yup I can’t remember his name he’s that important) I know there was more but.... Chris W.... obviously not the baby being born. Jake had fallen asleep and decided to go home and get some sleep. I was more of an attention whole then I would have ever liked to be and Chris W. was a new toy. We went to his house and did some things I shouldn’t have.... just because he was there to give me attention. I did tell Jake about it and it didn’t seem to bother him much. However, the entry on 2-22-02 says “He stopped saying I love you.” and I know it’s directly because of Chris. Chris was one of those “loose lips sink ships” kind of guys so once I told him that I had told Jake he stopped talking to me. .... that is what fuckboys are good for. Jake sent me a package with a silk rose, a small teddy bear holding a heart that said I love you on it and a card with Irish Blessing on it “May the road rise up to meet you.” On the inside he’d written. “Don’t let the bear scare you. Think about the true meaning of Valentine’s Day. St. Valentine who gave his life for others. May our friendship run it’s course and in due time may we know what true love is.”

Apparently, I was on bad terms with a bunch of people after that week up in MI. I don’t remember what I’d done but I wrote them each an e-mail about the fact that whatever it was I had done it was unintentional that it would upset them.

The rest of that diary is about meeting Randy and some stuff about Jim. Getting pregnant and losing the baby. Hard stuff to read but no more mentions of Jake.

There is a whole other book 11-23-02 to 10-21-05 and not a mention of Jake.... I mostly thumbed through it. Married to Randy and all the bullshit I dealt with with him and Destiny moving down with Chris, the parties and .... well mostly about Randy and our downfall. .... No blank pages to put an update though :( The last page talks about Jim.... and just before that Keagen.... so it would have me moving out but not my divorce. ..... so it I do start another physical diary.... there is a ton to catch up on. 18 years! lol wow