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Meeting with Jon H. in Still Listening to Spirit

  • July 3, 2014, 6:02 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

Appointment at 10am with Social Worker/Counselor at the Clinic to 'expedite' State Medicaid medical coverage application.

Not much was accomplished other than a better understanding for me of what needs to be done. Still not sure in which order but...

Jon said we had to apply to Social Security for disability benefits--I can't imagine there are any beyond what monetary monthly payment Bill is already collecting. However, I did not know that once on social security disability for 2 years, Medicare then is available. Anyway, so we must apply for Social Security disability, then the state can decide whether they want to cover the 2 years before Social Security takes over.

That's my understanding of it now, but it is possible I still don't quite get the process.

So we spent an hour in Jon's office and didn't accomplish much except that for some reason the SSA website would not let him beyond the first page of the application because of some information matching stuff. A call to them and much button punching resulted in a wait on the phone of 55 min, or request a call back which would be in about an hour too. Whatever.

The SSA people finally called me back and I gave all information for application, they will follow up with their phone interview (or did I want to travel to Juneau for an inperson interview?). Appointment--August 25! Sigh.

I informed Jon and he said he and Lynn would get information, etc. and letters requesting all speed possible out. I do not recall whether these letters would go to the state or the fed for SSA. It was a lot of waiting, Jon commented we were very patient people. I told him we were just beaten down and more submissive than usual.

Went to post office, bills and more bills. More paperwork now to do for Bartlett Hospital's billing department. Also medical bills for my flu and Bill's treatment for 7 and 9 hours. Can you say "YIKES"? Sigh.

Bill is the same, still coughing but eating well. Less grouchy by 150% most of the time.

Was on Facebook this afternoon and message popped up from Janene in Ketchikan asking if I was working right then. Nope, she asked if she could call--you betcha. So we had a lovely but fairly brief talk. About 30 minutes worth. I do dearly love that sweet woman who is also suffering from fibromyalgia and still getting to know the triggers that send her into full flare up.

I mentioned a friend from Kansas--Tornado--will be visiting her son in Ketchikan and that I didn't care who I ws working for or what the circumstances next summer, I would be off to visit with her and give her a hug.

I told Janene to let Tammie, another friend who also lives in Ketchikan, I would need a place to stay. Janine told me that they have a room just waiting for whoever wants to visit. Janene's husband came home for lunch and we ended the call. I found out later from Madame that Janene called her today too. Lovely for us all.

My friend at the market told me today that it wasn't that Ed didn't want me back, but that he hired 2 people over the weekend and so had enough employees. Nice to know. I am taking this as further indication from the Universe that I might not be meant to work this summer and that trip for medical might be before the end of season. Universe runs the time, not me, so I am still trusting, praying and doing what's in front of me.

I am also considering adding to our medical bills by seeing Jon H for some counseling. It never hurts and we can certainly evaluate where I am, how I am and whether he thinks I need it...

That's it for now. Blessed be!


Silent Echo/Quiet Storm July 03, 2014

you have so much going on i don't know how you stand up to it all. prayers for you. take care,

seedys Silent Echo/Quiet Storm ⋅ July 03, 2014

I just do what's in front of me. I can't do anything about what's coming cause I don't know what it is. I can't worry about medical bills -- I can't pay them except a bit at a time. I just work on today. Tomorrow, well I can't think of it. I am in today.

If I look at the calendar, I can see it is not tomorrow. so today is it. When I look at the calendar again the next day--it's not tomorrow, it's today. Very few plans, low expectations, little disappointment.

I appreciate the continuing prayers. That's something I can do today that IS going to make things better and happen as they should.

Silent Echo/Quiet Storm seedys ⋅ July 03, 2014

i remember how overwhelmed i felt when raymond was so sick. all i could do was what was in front of me. couldn't plan anything. i just did what was required of me at that exact moment. i needed someone to tell me what to do in the next moment but he was the one who was sick. i felt so alone and felt no one had ever gone thru what i was going thru. i felt abandoned. nothing quite as scary as thinking you are the one who has to keep things going when you are at wits end and have no idea what's next or what to do about what's next. oh, yes, you have my continuing prayers. take care,

seedys Silent Echo/Quiet Storm ⋅ July 03, 2014

Well, see, you DO know how I stand up to all of it--you've been through it. I 'knew' this intuitively just from your notes. Overwhelmed -- that feeling comes in moments, not in days or hours, so I can get through that, but it is so tiring. Thank you, I know I am not the only one going through this, but I am the only one who is doing it with my husband right now. Does that make sense? My feelings are not unique and others have gone through them, but I am the one feeling these feelings right now.

noko July 03, 2014

Eating and less grouchy is something. I was talking to a gentleman in the cat food aisle at the store last week and we were comparing notes on old sick cats and he was saying he just didn't know what the right food to get was and I told him, my theory was that the best food was the food Sam ate. It is all about energy. I remember being so darn confused by the Social Security classifications and forms and I know at least once I had to go to the office. Same thing with Medicaid. I found my social worker invaluable. They know stuff that never occurred to me. Glad you have a visit with Tornado to look forward to. :)

seedys noko ⋅ July 03, 2014

Yep and that is what it's all about, feeding the machine the maximum energy producing and healthy bits. Bill, right now, is still limited in capacity and taste so he is ingesting a lot of milk shakes, chocolate bars, and carbohydrates---he used to be a strictly meat and taters man. Right now I am pleased to think that he is gaining weight as he truly was lanky and is now skeletal. And yes, I am sometimes asea and confused by all this and other times, think I have it all understood and so on. Thanks.

Hillbilly Princess July 03, 2014

Everything Good Rebecca July 04, 2014

I remember applying for SSDI and what a nightmare that was. An in-person interview might be the thing, but when they call they are usually attentive and know how to do the job. I'm especially glad you have a support team behind you--Jon and Lynn seem o be going the extra mile. It was exciting to hear so much about Ketchikan, even though I realize that town I fell in love with was not meant for me at this time after all. When we know true friends like Janene is to you and to Madame, we know we have treasures. I'm still praying for you both and so glad to read that you are trusting and staying calm even on the inside.

seedys Everything Good Rebecca ⋅ July 04, 2014

Freaking out, worrying, stressing, all those things accomplish nothing. I have known this for a while (I think and lived it). This turn in the path is bringing it home to me and making it part of my being, a practice I can make habit and use for the rest of my life, however long that is. Thank you for your continued support. And, yes, Jon and Lynn are both professionally and emotionally invested in the outcome. That is what I love about this town, there are very few who won't go the extra mile for locals of Our Town and very few who don't do the same for the tourists/strangers we encounter. Thanks.

ThoughtsAfter July 06, 2014

Seedys, here I am listening to you and being glad you have support from the two professionals there -- it's a lot. Your way of living today and finding there's another today following it is another way of saying being in the moment, moment to moment. I'm glad your guy has found some things he enjoys eating, energy is key to his feeling strong as possible. SS. A mystery to me but when I do ask questions I get good support on the telephone always. The wait is tiring, yes. I hope the disablility payments come through soon. I think of you two often and hope you are able to enjoy each other's company, talk, and have some peace that you share and cherish each day.

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