those first entries in Second 1st

Feeling super nostalgic and have way too much time on my hands right this minute.

The first mentions of Jake are in an entry dated 1-29-2001. Amongst so much other crap… It’s a catch-up entry after not putting an entry in for nearly a year. It talks about The end of Allen and I .... and refers to Monty in a wonderful light. “This weekend Destiny came to visit again. She stayed with another ex-Michigan friend who lives in Antioch and she brought down Jacob. He is major hot and seems to really like me. Nyomie asked me about him and I told her I thought he was all that. Monty tried to get a threesome going.” Destiny has said something about how she thought Monty was good for me but she kind of hoped Jacob and I would get together. Monty got mad about it and just hated her after that saying things like “She’s trying to split us up.” Even though he was the one suggesting a threesome. The entry ends with promises of e-mails.

By 4-26-2001 I’d moved in with Monty. There is a huge entry about Monty’s mother complaining. There is also a mention of not having had sex in 2 months.... Monty was a sex addict so I’m not entirely sure how that happened.......There is a ton of gibberish about Sonya not being Zoe’s grandmother but her mother and that they were a fine family without me.

7-8-01 There’s still stuff about Allen and Monty and I are going .... can’t say strong but going.... I had suspicions he was cheating on me. 8-10-01 I moved out and in with some friends. It was all chaos for a while… no mention of Jake till....

8-14-2001 “The other day Jacob sent me an e-mail where the main point seemed to be that he didn’t want a relationship with me at all. So I sent him one back. I asked him if he was pushing me away before we even had a chance to get things started. This morning I got his response. He said he thought I was beautiful and that I deserve way more than I have or that he could give. He also said that he couldn’t wait to see what the future had in store for us.” LOL I can see why we didn’t make it then. That feels confusing lol.

8-19-01 “Feeling seriously lonely tonight so I e-mailed Jacob. I told him I loved him if not to the deepest parts of my soul then for what he represents to me right now. He should get it in the morning and e-mail me back by noon. Time to get some rest and dream about what we could be.”

9-3-2001 Jim is mentioned for the first time.... by the 18th Jim was done with his first round… “bros before hoes”

9-28-2001 Jacob and destiny visited. Destiny was pregnant with her first kid then. I made excuses to not sleep with her. I was partially worried about hurting the baby but mostly wanted to sleep with Jacob. lol We’d slept together that night and he made me breakfast the next morning. The next night we rented some movies .... and just chilled out.

10-2-2001 There is mention of a big argument about not sleeping with Destiny when they were. She apparently had something to say in which she must have reprimanded me for having sex because I said “That came out to sound like I can’t do what I want in my own home.”

10-2 is a long entry.... moving plans and Jake had told me he loved me and me trying not to “ravage him” when Destiny was around because it made her mad..... and that Jake and I were nearly nothing but physical. Not that I didn’t love him for that just that I was looking for it to change. He’d given me his High School letter jacket. sigh so sweet.

10-3-2001 “Jake called, telling me he misses me and loves me and how I was going to get online later and chat with him. .....

That’s it for now though.... I’m out of time.... have to go pick up Rocky from work… they’ve done some kind or schedule thing .... work early so they can get off early for the Super Bowl. … Rocky will just have more time to play video games and I’ll just be able to go to bed earlier....