I'm mobile again! in Since OD is shutting down....

I got my car back Thursday about 3pm. I can’t tell you how happy I am and what a difference it makes knowing I won’t have to walk everywhere anymore. My daughter had it kinda rough at school yesterday and I think it’s because we were walking earlier in the week and she’s just wiped out. I hope to God I never have to go through something like this again. It broke me when my daughter told me that she was worried about me walking. It’s just crazy how difficult this week has been and I’m glad it’s over!

So since I don’t have any support here and I am really sick of being alone, I have decided to start getting rid of everything and plan to move. It was never the plan to stay here forever anyway and I’m ready for a change. I’m in a different place with moving then I was last year and I’m okay with just taking whatever will fit in my car and buying new stuff when we get there. I spent all day yesterday throwing shit away, cleaning and organizing.

My loneliness and isolated feelings are what has really got me thinking about moving and starting over. My family is here and they just don’t care. My daughter’s Dad and his family are here and they don’t care. I feel like by staying that’s sending this message to them that we’ll always be here and they can make effort when they get around to it. I just don’t think it would be terrible to start fresh in a new place. I had originally planned to rent a uhaul and drive our stuff across the state but I realize that would just be expensive and a huge hassle. My friend said there’s a place there that helps with furniture so I don’t really need to bring mine.

I have spent years getting rid of stuff and no matter how much I get rid of, there’s still a bunch more! I feel like I’m never going to be done!! I’m seriously starting to feel overwhelmed. I have decided I’m going to sell what I can and then donate the rest. I plan to take our clothes, towels, a couple kitchen items, my medications and then probably like makeup, shower stuff and let the rest go.

It’s been a really hard week. My body is still super sore from walking. I see the spine doctor on Monday and I’m hoping to get some help because I’m sick of living with the pain. It’s really depressing.