19nd in A Nice Dream On Elm Street

My mom has said some hurtful things to me in my life. “You’ll never have a spouse, so I don’t expect you to understand.” LOL.
The most recent one though came about due to my wonderfully sheltered brother and his wife. While we’re living in the same house all I’ve asked is that they try to keep it down at night as I often have early mornings; but no I’m not allowed to speak up for myself, I was the kid who got yelled at for existing lmao.
Yeah, that’s what happens when you fuck up your kids by acting like any bit of noise or expression from them should be met with a swat to the ass, DAD. They learn to be quiet out of fear. They learn to not speak up for themselves because “You know what, dads right, no ones hitting me or touching me, I’m fine, I’ll just deal with it.”
Anyway, of course you can’t fucking tell the Gen-Z snowflakes anything and apparently I was ‘rude’ or some shit, fuck if I care. Your friend was very loud and they clogged my toilet, but yeah that’s a ‘nothingburger’ to mom. All of this ‘family works it out’ bullshit and unironic headshaking going “gosh…gosh, why would you say that? gosh..”
My sister in law’s mother passed, of course I was sorry to hear that but given the rocky relationship with my brother and her just being an inlaw (yeah sorry im not an especially lovely loving person as I push 40 and have to be around kids who only know sadness when a death occurs) and me hearing it secondhand from my mom and brother, I mistakenly, I guess, didn’t tell her personally that I was sorry to hear that.
So it just ‘comes up’ in a conversation with her and my mom and that leads me to receive some drawn out text about how I have a good heart and “wasn’t raised like that” and to apologize. I’ve always wanted to laugh when people describe hearts. While I’m not ‘stomp on kittens’ mean, I wont lie; sometimes I am just not very in touch with others emotions or capable of empathizing. I’m not good at apologies either, I don’t remember the last time I made a genuine one.
And on that note, my mom told me she did not want to live with me, lmao.
The woman whose always loved me the most straightfaced told me that. Reminded me of it again when she was here on friday, too. You want a son with a life? Guess you should’ve raised him to want one instead of calling him your guinea pig child and having a laugh then huh.
You really should’ve let us go home.
Mhmm now look where we’re at.

Last updated February 19, 2023