Withdrawal in Current Events

Today is day three without coffee. It isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I only got withdrawal headaches on day two. I thought I would fall apart at work but that is not the case. I don’t have that afternoon crash but I don’t have that high energy in the morning either. I miss that. My appetite is now insatiable. I am eating one extra meal a day. Instead of coffee, I eat a lot of fruit and some oatmeal. I ordered some vegan protein powder that arrived today. I will have smoothies for breakfast instead. I hate smoothies. It’s baby food but I get it. I’ll toss it in a bowl and load it up with granola and seeds because I hate the idea of eating baby food.

My number one concern, or should I say number two concern, was how my body would adjust to having a bowel movement without coffee. I’ve been managing to have one before I leave for work as normal but now I need to go multiple times a day. This is normal, I know. I average four times a day, apparently. I had to live my nightmare of doing it in a crowded public bathroom yesterday. I hated that for me. This might be a thing now.

I am trying to not let myself feel jaded about my useless roommate today. Complaining about her has become a characteristic trait at this point. I noticed that she still has her cold. This one is a long one so I’m hoping that is because she is not taking anything for it. Suppressing symptoms is why society is so sickly. Support the process. The body is removing waste and repairing damage, it is not possessed by a virus.

My depression is creeping in, I can feel it. It is a struggle to will myself to do anything. I think I will join a gym so that I can run on a treadmill. That will do wonders. It doesn’t help that we haven’t had sunlight in weeks. The sun is out today so I am going for a walk with a friend later. What I do need to do is study my ass for my final exam on Tuesday. Thursday was our last class of learning. It was kind of sad. I just want to get this over with because I just want a break from having to care. I start physics on the sixth, I suspect that I will enjoy this one.

Adam, a coworker, invited a bunch of us over for a fire tonight. Bev and I were going to watch a movie but I asked her if she was interested in this instead. Obviously, she was.

Anyway, I have to go race my depression and get as much done as possible before it cripples me.