What Goes Around in Current Events

Depression hit me hard yesterday. I could barely get out of bed. It humbled me a bit. I forgot how heavy this could get. I was imagining this weight in other people’s shoes and it gave me some perspective. Not everybody failing at life is a victim, yes. However, some of us really are just doing our best.

I try to support the process whenever my depression hits. I don’t even carry any sadness in my heart. It’s just a crushing weight. Yesterday, I felt grief. It was making me shortsighted and I couldn’t see myself on the other side of it. I pulled through. It took all day but I left the house to get some groceries. I cleaned up the apartment. I did the things that I was procrastinating. I still have a couple more things to tackle but the heaviness finally dissipated. All I wanted was a stiff drink when it was over so I did just that. I refuse to drink when I am upset.

I mentioned how I have been manifesting, nefarious things so to speak. This is the first week with my hours severely reduced. I made the comment to my coworkers, facetiously, that we need a full-timer to fall off a ladder or get sick so that we could get more hours. Today, we had two full-timers call in. One is sick and the other one twisted his ankle on a ladder yesterday. I got more hours. I couldn’t have asked for more service hours for our team?

I am a heretic to germ theory, we know that. That doesn’t mean that I deny that the phenomenon of contagion exists. The science on that isn’t settled. Anyway, my roommate had a cold and now I am coming down with a cold. What you put out into the universe you get back x3… ? Coincidence? I don’t know. I put out there that I wanted someone to get sick and now I’m sick as well. My ankle is fine, thus far. Maybe I’ll put out an offering on my altar. Better safe than sorry.

What is this offering I speak of? Hecate, that is the name that echoes in my head ever since I’ve heard it. It’s beautiful. However, ever since then, the bad things that I want come true come true but at a cost. I looked into her name once and across all of my newsfeeds it is flooded with information about her. Apparently, this means that I am being called to work with her. I wrote about how this equates to psychology to me, not about actual deities.

Anyway, it was Linda that called in sick. I was thinking about the karma associated with messing with an Aquarius or Capricorn because of Saturn. I was upset to learn that Linda is not my friend when I am not at work. That’s what I am being told by people who respect me. They just wanted me to know that much. It is what it is. I was looking forward to talking to her about it today. I was just going to let her know that I am aware that she is not being respectful of me when I am not there and that I am okay with that but I don’t want to pretend that we are friends. I just want us to be cordial and professional when we are working together. I could just leave it but… I need a boundary. This boundary will eat her alive which is just icing on the cake.

Speaking of cake, work brought in a huge cake to celebrate the couple of birthdays that passed and a few anniversaries. It wasn’t vegan so I didn’t get to partake. I’m starting to get annoyed that these things keep happening but it is what it is. Nobody owes me anything.

Anyway, dinner is almost ready. I’m out.