Babble in Current Events

Surprise surprise, my day yesterday was not the most productive. I did start looking online for work. There are a couple of places in my area that might be a decent fit for me. One is a supplement store, another is a gym and the last one is an athletic store for running. I like the idea of being around people who can create positive changes. I already applied for the gym position. We’ll see what happens.

I am letting it get to me that I have another long weekend with my roommate at home. I feel smothered even though she will not be in the same room as me. I can’t get more than three sentences out of her either. Whatever. I’ll have plenty of time alone with my reduced hours and all. I got used to having at least one day to myself.

I am trying to get an evening/weekend gig so that I can keep my current day job. However, the thought of leaving it does makes me feel a little good. Do I want to work for a company that protects a predator? I just need to tough it out for a couple of months, the hours will come back, supposedly. Or I could find something bigger and better.

I woke up feeling cooped up. Even though it is winter I should start going for walks every day. I also miss running. Maybe I’ll get the position at that gym and get that free membership.

I don’t have a lot to do today. I do need to study. I also have a list of things to make for meal preps or whatever. I still haven’t faced the music and looked at my schedule for next week. I already know it’s going to be brutal. I don’t need to prep a lot of meals, I just have some sauces and such to make.

I am a judgemental bitch, I know it and I own it. It’s hard to witness my roommate live like a child. We are the same age, I am turning 37 on Friday and she is turning 17 in May. I am worried about her because she has been hiding in her room and from me for longer than usual. I see that she drank a bottle of wine yesterday, and had a little pity party. Her snack attacks are getting under my skin. She went through all of the chips already, they are not meant to be meals. Like, grow up.

When I get the opportunity to talk about this and add some self-awareness, I am going to ask her if she would put up with herself if she were a parent. If you were a parent, would you let your kid eat the way you do? Drink the way you do? Smoke the way you do? Treat people the way you do? Be lazy and useless to you the way you do? Would you let them suffer the way you do? Absolutely not! She needs to parent herself and do the things she does not feel like doing. Get help. It’s selfish to just suck at life like this because it is affecting others. I am tired of witnessing a grown-ass adult live like this.

Ok, I got that off my chest. For now. Adding self-awareness to someone who does not want to be aware is tricky. I have to wait for the right opportunity. Her alopecia is getting worse. Her liver is done. We don’t catch diseases we create them. I wish I had confidence in her that she can create the changes she needs to support better health but I don’t. She is stuck in her child-like psychology and will not be responsible for herself. She will blame the world for her problems.

Anyway, on with my day.

Last updated January 02, 2023