Heavy in Current Events

I kill a lot of time on here, on Prosebox. Today is the kind of day when I am reminded why I have this blog.

Yesterday I got some pretty disturbing news about my sister. The one that is pregnant. We are all excited for her because she’s wanted this forever. It’s finally happening. She is less than two months along and is already showing. Twins! We thought. Another twin having twins within the extended family would be cool. We learned why she is showing and it is not good. She has two tumours growing alongside the baby. This is going to be a risky pregnancy.

The tumours are benign. I haven’t spoken with her directly yet. I know her though. She’s going to be saving face. We don’t show pain and fear in my family—just my brother. Pisces rising.

Not that I want to make this about me but this is creating a slight existential crisis. The whole reason I’m back in school is to get my doctorate and become a Naturopath. I decided to do this for my family. The existential crisis is that I am faced, once again, with the fact that my family will never listen to me. Just to those medical priest freaks who don’t understand the healing process. I already know how they’re going to mistreat her tumours and I can’t even stomach the thought. I will never talk sense into her to get her to see a terrain doctor, a naturopath.

Tumours are sacs the body builds to store toxic waste. We are a society that is superstitious about pathogens and suppresses symptoms. Symptoms are the cure, they remove waste and repair damage. My sister works for a daycare and is fully vaxxed. I was waiting for something like this. I’m waiting for something like this for my mother also. They’re both the type to run to those medical priests to turn off the symptoms whenever their bodies express healing. Her body ran out of places to store the waste, she now has tumours. At least we now know they are present. I will never get her to see somebody that could help clean out her body so that her tumours become unnecessary. What is cancer then? It’s a fungus that eats dead tissue. When you fail your body so hard that bacteria cannot do the job, nature comes to take the dead tissue back to the earth. Just as it does everywhere else in nature. The cure is simple, but not easy. There is no silver bullet.

I will talk with her anyway. It’s her medical choice. I want the best for her. She is my baby sister.

That is weighing on my mind. It’s making everything else feel like it is crushing me. I got approved for that credit line today. I lied about why I wanted it and I feel flustered about it. My finances are weighing heavy on my mind because our hours got cut at work. I am torn about a few things in general. I don’t want to give up my job, I like it there. I might have to. I also feel the existential dread of what is coming. Conspiracy theorists are ten for ten and this fiat system is about to implode. It will make instant millionaires but instant poverty for the normies. I need to learn how to invest. XRP and silver look like the best bets.

All I want to do is drink. I also want to cave and watch porn. There was a lot of eye candy at work today but nope. I’m leaving that behind me. After my birthday, I am leaving alcohol behind as well.

I will have a lot of spare time soon enough. I need to be constructive with it.