This seems important in A Childhood Lost

Recently I have unearthed several pivotal moments in the genesis of my self image.
One was when I was about 12 I think, my mother stood me in front of a full length mirror and asked me “Do you like what you see?”
Now, there was the obvious implicit negative judgement - but there was also a threat imbedded in it. My mother was essentially asking, will you forgo your own independent assessment and substitute my judgement? If you do, I will reward you. If you don’t, I will punish you.
I chose not to give up my own mind. I told her “yes,” which was the answer that challenged my mother’s ability to accurately assess. It was a challenge on several levels, I think. One, that she could rely on my uncritical acceptance of her and her opinions. Two, that her threat of reward/punishment was effective in subverting my will to assert my own perception. And, that having failed both of those assumptions, my mother’s ability to coerce, manipulate, threaten, and use violence against a child in order to instill self doubt, self consciousness, ruin self confidence, etc, was exposed for everyone to see. Most importantly herself.
It was a terrifying moment in my life. There isn’t much more terrifying than choosing to expose a parent’s corruption, as a child. That is what is tangled up in my self image.