the last extra-value meal in poetry

ronald mcdonald transposed
into the iconic images
associated with Jesus Christ

ronald mcdonald
dividing one single bag
of Filet-o-Fish sandwiches
and feeding the multitudes

ronald mcdonald
stabbed in the guts by a centurion
with what's now called the spear of destiny
and gushing out gallons of Heinz fancy ketchup

ronald mcdonald
crucified on Golgoth Hill
flanked on each side
by the hamburglar and the grimace
but like the original grimace
the evil grimace that had four arms
complicating the process of crucifiction
immeasurably

ronald mcdonald
at a wedding
miraculously turning mere water
into that sickly sweet orange drink
they always have at pta meetings

ronald mcdonald
slipping on his path along
the stations of the cross
and a gaggle of kindly fry-guys
helping him lift his burden

ronald mcdonald
carrying your hamburger bloated ass
up upon his grease-paint sainted shoulders
and that's why there's only one set
of footprints on the beach
and also why those footprints
are fucking gigantic
because of clown shoes

ronald mcdonald
brought before mayor mccheese
who chides him for his ideals
tells him the arch deluxe was never going to work
and washes his hands of the whole stinking mess

ronald mcdonald
preaching on the mount
telling his followers
to consider the lillies in the field
does the sunshine not
keep their hot sides hot
does the moonlight not
keep their cold sides cold
so too are the mcdlts
as prophecied in days of old

ronald mcdonald
examining a monopoly instant win tag
that offers a free quarterpounder meal
and explaining that we must render
unto rich uncle pennybags
what is rich uncle pennybags'

ronald mcdonald
on the cross
in his final pained breath yelling
father! why have you discounted me!
then coming back three days later
to preach from a new dollar menu
where actually
the cheeseburger costs a dollar nineteen
but they still call it the dollar menu
I guess because
God works in mysterious ways
just like megolithic
fast food corporations
but in the kingdom of heaven
there will always be fries with that
they would never lie to you
religions and other business franchises
would never lie to you
everything's gonna be super-sized
after you've died
when they can't make anymore money off of you
just wait
you'll see
amen