Choices in Current Events

I’m not making a good choice right now. I’m going to commit to it anyway. I feel fatigued from my class. I work almost full-time, and my apartment feels like a second job all in itself. Plus school. ‘Tis the season for mental illness and I need to create a balance somewhere. Not to say that playing hooky is me creating balance. I’m a week away from winter break but I can’t wait. I just want a break from expectations. I got Teams to work, I’m going to do today’s class online. That is my naughty choice. It will just make a tiny dent in my final grade but when I look at this material my brain turns off. Once my teacher starts to review the material it will all make sense again. My problem is that I don’t practice it every day. We only have class twice a week so my weekends are five days long. I could do better.

Last Thursday I tried to do this but I couldn’t make Teams work. I raced to class and ended up having a fun day. I am not even going to try and go over this material before the class starts today. I’m just signing in and winging it.

I don’t work tomorrow, all I can think about is laying in bed free of expectations for as long as I want. It will probably be from 6 am to noon. I have things to take care of. I’ll also be studying my ass off before I face the music on Thursday.

Over the weekend, I spent almost all of my energy getting worked up about my living situation which is not even that bad. Am I self-sabotaging? Am I creating an enemy construct to make excuses to avoid studying?

The next course I am taking I know I will enjoy more. It’s a lot of reading and writing about history and philosophy. I love writing, I miss it. Maybe it will inspire me to get around to writing that novel I always wanted to write.

Anyway, I’m just killing time before my class starts. I have time to wrap two presents. On with it then.