The Honest Emotion Of It in The Secret Writings of Eros: Book 3- Fallout, Pain, Acceptance, and Perseverance

Y’know what upsets me most when I’m alone (as ever) and willing to examine things with both an emotional and honest eye?

I so wish I felt worthy of the life I want. I don’t. And there are half a dozen reasons why I don’t feel worthy of that life. But the Sparks Notes Summary is: There is a life I want and… very different from that life… is the life I am capable of living.

IRRITATING AS FUCK CAVEAT: I am writing this from my home PC so… the “god damned fucking awful” keyboard bullshit is active. I’ve written more than 100 words and I have had to fix TYPOS on NINTEY FIVE PERCENT of those words. The irritation and frustration from that CANNOT be appropriately expressed. It is SO BAD I want to share with you what shit was before I individually WITH THE FUCKING INDEX FINGER went over line by line to make sure the written text was understood. QUITE FRANKLY, ALL OF THIS WAS EXCESSIVELY FRUSTRATING, IRRITATING, AND HATEFUL! I have written my fair share of “drunken words” and I was able to drink, write a 4 page poem, and send it in for publishing by the age of 17. The fact that, even if I type each letter individually with one finger… typing ONE letter AT A TIME… the fact that my computer, my fuck awful expensive internet, and this website cannot even begin to register the words I am typing ? Fuck frustrated… I’m to BLOOD RAGE at this point!!! ESPECIALLY… I mean… FUCKING HELL! My last cable bill was for $398 dollars. For “mid cable internet, that is excessively unreliable”… for cable that only works on ONE television out of FOUR… I mean, I understand FUCK MEDIACOM but God damned! This is absolute HORSESHIT for the price I am paying considering I can’t even upload a fucking TIKTOK video from my house and, honestly, had to go to a McDonald’s to use the FUCKING INTERNET. I pay FAR too much for ANY of that to be acceptable!!!!!!!!

Now all of that being stated and my hands quite literally bound by rubber bands to hopefully better serve as Chronicler....

WELL, MOTHER FUCKER I was going to write an analogy to explain but this broken as FUCK keyboard refused to actually type every fourth letter. Try it. See how that experience works out for you. VERY GENUINELY this paragraph would read terribly. WHICH IS WHY I DELETED ALL OF IT TO WRITE THIS!

888 VERY FRUSTRATINGLY888 I wanted to write an entry about some of my current fustrations with ive, dating, etceera. BUT CLEARLY I need to either replace my PC or my DESK or my CABLE before I can wtei env ONE fucking enry that is emotional AND understandable by those who read English. My GOD It is like this computer, this internet, and this PC have ourgight CONSPIRED to preven me from wrigting anything. ESPECIALLY with the spped of youth. rying to write anohtin of acutla sbstance on this MOTHER FUCKING KEYBOAD comntiiues to prove frustrating as all fucking hell. PART OF my furtrnite shoipping.... whenever I can get to tit, Right!?

Last updated December 07, 2022