Somewhere in between where and why in And here we go.

Somewhere in between here and heaven
Somewhere in between where and why
Somewhere in another dimension
I can hear you asking me why

I’m still here, with this song, I don’t know where else to go.
No one tells you about the calm after the storm, and the destruction it leaves behind.

Tell me can you hear me I’m calling
Tell me you can hear me, don’t cry
Tell me that you’re not feeling lonely
Somewhere in between where and why

I will wait for you
Will you wait for me?
I will wait for you
Will you wait for me?

Somewhere at the crossroads of nowhere
Somewhere at the crossroads of why
Somewhere in another dimension
I can hear you asking me why

Every time I gain consciousness and look around a decade has passed. Time just pulls away; life keeps getting harder. The regrets, they mount up.
More and more and more.

It’s like walking great lengths of barren land in this pristine wilderness that’s just dotted by hills made out of my own regrets.

Somewhere between where and why I lost all meaning, dropped off all resources, possessions, rid my self of all worldly delights, save for the absolute mandatory ones required essentially for survival.

I burnt down an entire forest for a night’s worth of warmth. My feet are eternally dirty, caked with the ashes I have to walk through every day.

Now I’m stuck between songs. The silence between last song ending and next one starting is a terrible silent scream I don’t want to acknowledge.

I’m sorry I left you
I’m sorry I love you
I planted so much pain there
I then went insane there

I dug a hole, deep down, down, down in the dark, I threw my wants into that hole and forgot I had to climb out. No way to climb out.
Now my wants in the open, I sit here and look up, can’t even see the sky, the hole so deep down, so dark.
And my wants lay bare. Wanting, needing, rotting, and I age with them.

No amount of crying is going to help elevate this burden.

This beast of the dark, rests there relaxed, completely apathetic to my struggles.
Even the monsters have abandoned me.

Love someone unattainable, with little to zero possibilities of ever being together, put so much distance in between that you can be self-destructive without ruining their lives.
And even that gets taken away.

I absolutely fucking hate this noise; I hate the silence even more.

Falling asleep shouldn’t be scary.

Last updated December 14, 2022