Friday. in Since OD is shutting down....

I’m still trying to get my voice back. I have had a horrible stomach ache since last night. I’m going to be super glad when I’m done being sick. This shit is driving me fucking crazy. Just at home hanging out today trying to get better. It’s been a miserable week because both my daughter and I have been ill.

It’s been a couple of days since I’ve been on Facebook and I feel pretty good about it. I like TIk Tok better but I’ve decided that when I’m ready to go back on Facebook, I’m going to make a new account and just block everyone I possibly can and the next time I get any kind of message that even looks sus, I’m not going to respond but just hit the block button. I will never again go down these same rabbit holes.

This guy has caused so much chaos in my life and it stops now. I know now more than ever I can’t waste another minute trying to reason with him or anyone around him. He has his side of things and I have mine. Life is just too fucking short. I’m also pissed that I went against my boundaries 6 weeks ago allowing him to be in my home, car, and asked him to help get her to school because it created serious problems for my daughter. I was left with the aftermath and ended up with even more stress on my plate because I tried yet again.

My friend wanted to message him and say some things but again, WE CAN’T KEEP DOING THIS! That’s why this is never going to end! The way to stop a cycle is by not letting it start up again!! He knows what he’s doing by triggering our anger because that’s what keeps us engaged! He who triggers you, CONTROLS YOU!!!

I admit, it’s extremely frustrating when this girl acted like him seeing his child for the first time in 14 months was a big deal and that they are going to start taking child support out of his checks. He hasn’t paid a fucking dollar in 19 months!! I love watching people grasp at straws because they are just so desperate to take up for someone. I just wish people would stay out of shit but I also wish I would have blocked her right away and not have given her any fucking energy at all.