I Am Starting To Feel Like... in Help Me Please

I don’t have a home and I am not worthy of what I say or think. All because the idiot landlady says this is her house and she doesn’t care about what I say or think or want for that matter.
Like yesterday she spent 3 hours fixing a dryer and I am not even sure if she did a good enough job or how long the fix will be for.
And yesterday she brought her puppy with her to the cold laundry room and the poor dog shivered the whole time she was here and I wanted to take it out to see if it needed to pee and I wanted to take it into her place down here and she said no.
So now that I feel like I am just a person who pays rent and has no rights as a tenent I just want to cry. So I have decided that I am not going to be taking care of stuff here and for the most part I will not be cleaning to her expectations. And if stuff breaks well it breaks and I don’t care how much time or how much it costs to fix. But then if she thinks I purposely broke it then she won’t replace it or fix it, but I don’t do that. So from here on in if I feel like doing something she asks I will think about it and decide if I really want to do it and if it will benifit me or her. And all I have to do is pay my rent. And soon she will realize just what I won’t do because I have signed no lease and she says I won’t sign one because of my behaviour, but then my behaviour has nothing to do with the law.
But like the old saying goes..What comes around goes around and then you get bitten in the ASS.
There isn’t very much that I can do now that will make me feel happy and content because the idiot landlady has threated me if I do it. I am not sure that she can leagally do that butshe has and I will just go behaind her back and do it anyways. She has a gas stove so it’s the same thing when she uses it.
I am thinking that when I want the rent paid either I will put it in her mail bix or tell her to come and get it because it’s not my job to make sure she has the rent.
And I have also decided that the day I do move out I am not going to be cleaning anything and she can keep the damage deposit for all I car and if it costs more then that to clean and fix then too fucking bad, I don’t care anymore.
Soon I will start to feel like myself but until I do I need to figure out away how to get there and that will take some time.
I told hubby how I feel and he told me that I shouldn’t be feeling like this because the most important people in my life repsct me and love me and give me some control of what I say and feel and when I ask them to do something they will do it. And hubby said he loves me more today then he did yesterday and I am the best thing that has happeend to him and he is always greatful for that. But it’s hard to remeber that because the rights I have as a tenant is nil.
Oh and the bathroom door she said it’s not a big deal and it can wait to get fixed. And the bathroom vanitiy is smelling even worse then it did last week and once in a while I can smell it in the actual bathroom as I am walking in and out of it. And I think I have figured out where the mold is but she won’t fix it that either so it will just stay. And the pipe above the tooliet where he bathroon pipes are are still driping, not much but I can see that the floor is more dirty then when I washed it but then she doesn’t care about that either. And I am not going to be washing it every day it can stay dirty. And I will be cleaning things here when I feel like it not just because she says to do it. At least this way I will have some control.

Onto something else…

I am going to attempt to do some laundry and hope the dryer doesn’t stop because I really need to get some of it done and all of my blankets need to go into the dryer.

Onto something else…

Last night I made my famouse prawns and spagetti dish and there is lots of left overs. Tonight I am thinking something to do with ground beef, but I think hubby should specify what he might want. So I will ask him.

Well I should really stop here…
Do have a great day…
Be Kind, Be Calm, Be Safe and Behave.

Last updated November 24, 2022