the size of the fight in the dog in poetry

ollie the dog would kill
every single thing on the earth
that isn't a human being if he could
so it's probably for the best
that he doesn't have access
to a machine gun
or thumbs

it's probably for the best
that ollie the dog is basically
a fuzzy bagette loaf
with teeth and a butthole
because if he was
the size of a grizzly bear
we would all be
in for some trouble

it's probably for the best
that ollie the dog
is twenty-five pounds
of white-and-tan fur and poop
because if he was large enough
to scale the empire state building
I'm sure that he would
and he'd hump it
ollie the dog
would hump the hell
out of the empire state building
and he'd make disturbing sounds
while he did it
it would be
so loud

and it's a good thing that ollie the dog
doesn't have any laser beam eyes
doesn't have any wolverine claws
because I imagine that
all of the neighbors' dogs
let alone the local stray cats
wouldn't have a ghost of a chance
and then he'd have to move along
to slaughtering horses and cows
in the nearby farm towns
that'd be just a mess

ollie the dog would kill
every single thing on the earth
that isn't a human being if he could
so it's better my mother
keeps him unarmed instead
and provides him with occasional
stuffed toys to shred
so that he's never tempted
to learn