30st in A Nice Dream On Elm Street

I got this fuckin’ Acqua Di Gio cologne for my birthday a few months back. It smells like perfume. I hate it.
My mom has never liked any colognes I like because they ‘bother my nose’, so I was flabbergasted when she got me this potpourri smelling stuff. I want to throw it away because it’s not what I want, but that’d be rude. In the last few months she’s done so much for me, a new battery, new fucking tires, and soon to be again a new rear tire.
I just want the things I want, fuck. Not some gay smelling cologne, seriously, it smells like bed bath and beyond. This is like when my grandma (dad’s mom RIP) called me from France and said she was going to get me a really nice cologne and gifted me a fucking dollar store “Our version of” cologne.
I remember looking at my mom and her just shaking her head saying “Just say you like it.”
I had to tell her that when I opened the box she gave me and smelled a cologne that’d seem better to refresh a women’s restroom than be dabbed behind my ears.
I’m ungrateful though. I remember one birthday, think I’d turned 7, I wanted toys like all the kids, you know?
Toys. Things I could play with, be entertained by. I got a book instead.
A nickelodeon book on how to make your own game show.
I remember not hiding my disdain with it and basically just tossing it on the seat next to me and pouting.
My mom looked at me and said how ungrateful I was, and to read the inside sleeve of the book.
She’d written something nice, I don’t remember it word for word, but it was heartfelt.
She deserved a better son but she got me instead.

My rear tire got a leak saturday after I’d been helping Jarrod run some errands since he’s without a car. Second time somethings happened to my car while helping that retard.
Maybe it’s a sign.
My brother and I don’t really get a long. Something about being a retarded entitled millenial who never got a hand raised to him as a child, so he doesn’t know what it is to have someone yell at you everyday to turn that light off, close that door, or don’t throw away eggshells in the house.
This is going to be a shitty week.
This is basically the first day I haven’t driven my car, they still have company over from another of their parties last night, and I need to get HIGH, FUCK.