Dichotomy in The Secret Writings of Eros: Book 3- Fallout, Pain, Acceptance, and Perseverance
- Aug. 8, 2022, 12:09 a.m.
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- Public
So… I haven’t had great luck with therapy. Since the divorce, I’ve had 4 different therapists. For those keeping track that is “since the start of 2020” I’ve had 4 different therapists. And each one had strengths and weaknesses. And then you add this space. Where I get input. And what I’ve discovered?
Fears, pain, and concern of being “unpartnered” are typically approached with either “You worry about that too much, stop it” or “You worry about that too much. Stop it.” The difference being… half say “stop worrying about it” and half say “stop being single, it’s easy.” To both: fuck off.
Some people say, “You’re a CisHetWhiteMan, fuck you and everything you represent. You deserve to be single and in pain due to what people like you have done for the last ever of history.”
Some people say, “You’re a disabled guy that people assume is gay, there just aren’t a lot of women that are willing to look past that.”
Some people say, “You’re a successful full time employed attorney, any woman would think introducing you to her parents would be a win!”
Some people say, “You’re a criminal prosecutor in an era where all cops are racist fascists, you should just fucking die.”
My current therapist disappears at the end of the month. She thinks I don’t need to continue therapy after she quits. Meanwhile… I haven’t had sex since February 2021. I haven’t had a legitimate authentic DATE since before I was divorced!! My “therapy of writing” rarely gets notes beyond “Man up” or “Just start fucking whoever says yes” or… the notes are rare but rarely helpful. So I think therapy is still needed. Because being single, being alone, being perpetually celibate… hurts. Emotionally, psychologically, physically. But there is a definite split right down the middle.
With Half Saying:
Being single sucks. But if you can’t man up and deal with it as your potential permanent future, than you suck. Learn to deal with it, you weak asshole!
And the other half saying:
Being single is liberating! But if you can’t see that, you’re clearly clinically depressed and can’t appreciate the joy of not being tied down. Learn to appreciate your loneliness as freedom, and be thankful for your current position!
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