Waiting for mail. in Since OD is shutting down....

I’ve spent the last 2 weeks waiting diligently for the mail to come. It’s pretty obnoxious that it comes at different times everyday and there’s no telling when I can plan for it to be here. I’m still waiting for some important shit and I feel like it’s never going to come. I’m just really frustrated with this and I’m going to be glad when I don’t have to wait anymore. This is just a complete joke. I also tried to sign up with USPS so I would know what mail is coming but it kept saying my user name was wrong and I tried probably 20 different ones so it’s just the waiting game.

The weekend was pretty decent. Kinda boring but we got through it. I took her to the park for awhile yesterday and then got some groceries. I was okay with just hanging out at home with my daughter. She was struggling to eat meals again and I didn’t budge on snacks or sweets.

I checked the mail and got something from the IRS, my heart started beating fast thinking it was going to be my check. It wasn’t. Just something saying that I had set up a password. I called and was just told repeatedly to keep checking the website even though I kept saying that it was completed the 9th of August. I have decided that I’m going to just give up and know it will probably never reach my mailbox. I just know by the time I would get it, It’ll probably be put in the wrong mailbox and get thrown away. I spent $300 to amend my return and have waited almost 8 months. I give up.

I never did hear from DSS or the Clerk of Courts either. I just need to give up waiting for important mail because it’s probably never going to come. This world is a complete fucking joke and I’m really sick of NOTHING going the way it should, EVER!

It’s also really annoying that my Mom doesn’t make more effort. I think it’s crap that my Dad has her so fucking brainwashed that it’s just never an idea for her to reach out or make an attempt to be around. I ask things of her and I get told no more often than not. All they do is sit at home. I know that my Dad has absolutely no fucking plans to ever go back to work and he just sits and milks his fake injuries to get attention and waiting for my Mom to forget about him working. Fucking sickening.

I started thinking about the Summer and that the after school program only covers half of it. I called another place but they aren’t taking applications and the YMCA said to call back in March and that the take the kids with memberships first and everyone else goes on a waiting list. To get a membership costs $70 to start and then about $65 a month. I can’t afford that. I’m definitely getting stressed out as 6 weeks is a long time to have no sitter and not be able to make money. I’m so frustrated that there’s not more options here and daycare is completely out of the question.

Then I start thinking about how there is absolute ZERO fucking reason for me to be a single Mom other than because he doesn’t feel like being a Dad. I don’t think it’s fair that I get to figure out how to pay for EVERYTHING out of my pocket while he lives for free with no responsibilities. I can’t ask him to help out because he won’t unless it’s his idea and there’s something in it for him otherwise he feels it’s doing me a favor! I am just so fucking over being a single Mom!! I’m really stressed out worrying about getting a job because of school schedule and how even this week, there’s no after school program on Wednesday. I just need to find something that’s super flexible and where there’s not drama if I need to leave early or need the day off because I don’t have a sitter!!