Long Week in Current Events

My first day back to school was on Tuesday. On the first day, before I entered the classroom, the jitters were too much. Every fiber of my being wanted to stay home in bed. Just like old times. That is how I handled my social anxiety 20 years ago. I’ve come a long way since then. All the way, I might even say. Going back to school is what I was procrastinating on for my whole adult life, essentially. It’s what my worst nightmares were made of.

It’s nothing special. It’s just at an Adult Education Centre. I am working on credits that I know I will need in order to pursue holistic medicine. There is also a career counselor on site so I will be using those services eventually. I’m not biting off more than I can chew at the moment. I’m also not letting myself think too big.

We have been doing group work first thing every class. Problem-solving and I think I might have bigger brain energy than I let myself think that I do. People think I’m so smart because I power through them. It’s whatever.

I also had a full work week. I still have anxiety about the lack of shift security, I am noticing. I never wanted full time but now that I am working it, by picking up shifts, I want it. The pay is good. The opportunity will come again. Perhaps I just need a reason to have anxiety?

I suppose the six planets in retrograde finally caught up with me today. I had a moment where I became unhinged and just sassed the fuck out of the coworkers that annoy me. I might keep it up for some of them. However, all I needed was to eat, apparently. I did apologize.

We had dignitaries come today for a walk. One of them came at me over something which was inappropriate. Talk to a supervisor. She’s a deeply unpleasant person, nobody likes her and they fear her. Whatever, I don’t want this job to be my forever job. It ended my day, my whole week in fact, on a bad note. I am unwinding with some whiskey. I’ll get over it. a decision was made that affects my whole team because of the interaction I had with this woman. It’s not a big deal. It just makes me feel some type of way.

Anyway, I just wanted to air some of my insides out. I am ready for a nap and/or soak in the tub with Epsom salt.