Sunday. in Since OD is shutting down....

I can’t believe the weekend is already almost over. We’ve done breakfast and now little one is just watching tv and I’m getting a moment to myself. I got to see my counselor on Thursday and then hung out with my Dad. I decided that I didn’t want to have to keep going to that old lady’s house and got everyone home. My little brother has still gone over there but hasn’t stayed overnight. I don’t mind anyone visiting, I just don’t want anyone feeling like they are stuck there.

She asked me to come over and help her clean up some on Thursday but I didn’t really help because she just wanted me to rearrange her hoard. I’ve decided that because her house is filthy and she’s not about to change it, that I will not be coming back. I also won’t have my child over there because she likes to chain smoke with no ventilation. I had my kid over there the other day and when we got home, she had a serious rash on her butt, legs and arms. I honestly believe it was from the smoke.

I understand that when you get old, you get pretty set in your ways but that doesn’t mean everyone else should have to deal with it. I can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help herself but I’ll be damned if I’m going to come over just to move shit around and deal with how bad her house smells. I’m also pissed that she has 2 very old dogs that need to be put down and she doesn’t think to do it. One of them had a serious skin rash and it’s not being addressed. I just look at this woman and know that I never want to be like her.

So last night I decided to look at obituaries and noticed my old best friend’s Grandma died about a week before my birthday. It definitely makes me sad because I truly loved her. I was glad to read that she died at home surrounded my family. She was a good woman.

My counselor was talking to me about going back to school. I have been weighing the pros and cons of this. I definitely don’t want to work shit jobs forever and never make a livable wage but I also don’t want to take on more debt either. I also don’t want to stay stuck like I am now. I just need some time to think about everything. I still want to move as well so online classes would probably be the best if I do go back. I just don’t know right now.

My daughter has a check up Tuesday morning so I need to call tomorrow and let them know and for whatever reason, I have anxiety about that. Ugh, I just hate anxiety all the time over the dumbest shit.

I am not sure what we are going to do today, I do know we have early bedtime so I want to try and stay busy. I have something I need to drop off somewhere so I’ll probably do that tomorrow after I get my kid to school.

I have just been cleaning up the house and got my daughter a bath and nails painted. Her teacher messaged saying we can come have breakfast with our kids on Thursday. I don’t really want to but I know my daughter would want me there so I’ll go. I just wish I didn’t have so much anxiety and I’ve become pretty shy.

We went to my parents house for a bit. My Mom did our laundry and then we just hung out for awhile. Got pizza for dinner because my daughter has been asking all weekend. I’m going to get her a bath soon and do bedtime for school in the morning.