Stress. in Since OD is shutting down....

So the charges got dropped and my little brother will be going home. I’m glad for this as he’s staying with a 70 year old woman with cancer. She smokes in her house, it’s really cluttered and not very clean. I’ve been over there and literally always dying to leave. I can’t stand smelling like smoke and am in a hurry to get home and shower. I want my little brother to go home and not have to be there.

I definitely have my concerns with him going home because I know nothing is going to change. Nobody is into the idea of counseling or anger management classes and I’m sure within a week, I’ll get a call that he’s back to putting holes in the wall and making threats. We have spoke to different agencies about finding him his own place but one wants a physc eval and since the charges been dropped, my Mom doesn’t think they should worry about getting it done. I know they say it’s fine for him to move out but they aren’t doing much for it to happen either.

I’m just really frustrated because I know that if he goes home and something happens again, the charges probably won’t be dropped and he’s going to spend a chunk of time in jail and simply because no one wants to change anything and start working on themselves. I talked to him yesterday where he still blames my Dad for everything. He also mentioned ‘laying down the law’ by saying there’s not to be any more drinking. Well, my Dad lives there too and probably won’t take that too lightly. I do hope that the drinking stops but I know how this shit goes too. I’ve dealt with it my whole life.

My Mom mentioned my Dad coming over there today and I got pissed. I’ve been around all of them every fucking day since last Thursday and I’ve said multiple times that I want to just do my own thing. I’ve had my child 24/7 for 3 months and I want to start working on my own stuff, after everything being put on the back burner for so long! I have had days tied up in all of this and I just refuse to keep dealing with it.

I get to attend counseling tomorrow. I haven’t been there in weeks and I have a lot to talk about. I am super glad that my daughter is in school now and I’m not gonna have to worry about missing/rescheduling appointments anymore.