America, the Exception in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

I thought I’d share my reactions to some interesting survey results. Maybe you have a reaction to share, too.

1) 1 in 10 people think HTML is a Sexually Transmitted Disease
Well, at least 9 people know better. For once, I’m proud of the majority.

2) 1 in 4 Americans think God helps decide the outcome of football games
Oh Jesus, take the wheel and drive us off a cliff. This is where pure arrogance comes into play. I know this gets thrown around a lot, but really think about it… there are people around the world starving, praying that God would bring them food. The Christian thinks that God has a reason for not providing them with food, some “lesson” they need to be taught about “humility” or some bullshit (“God works in mysterious ways”). But then will believe that God has a hand in the outcome of a football game… trust me, if anyone needs to be taught a lesson, it’s not the poor starving child.

3) 51% of people think stormy weather “affects” Cloud Computing
Okay, this might be one I would fall into… mostly because I’m still unclear what “the Cloud” is. I know it’s some server somewhere and that my files aren’t physically in one place, but that’s about it. It all sounds like witchcraft to me.

4) 1 in 4 Americans thinks the Sun goes around the Earth
Geocentrists still exist?!?! I mean, they’re one step up from Flat-Earthers, but just BARELY....

5) 1 in 5 Brits would have Sex with a Robot
I’ve seen many things being in Asia and I can tell you right now, the Japanese (& Chinese) are WAAAAY ahead of you on this one.... whatever you do, don’t look it up.

6) 40% of people would Save their Dog over a Foreign Tourist
I think I’m supposed to feel judgmental toward the 40% over this one, but I don’t....

7) American Churchgoers are more likely to Support Torture than those unaffiliated
I find this to be completely unsurprising. Christians are taught from a very early age that Jesus went through trauma so that we wouldn’t have to. We have a symbiotic relationship with torture. It’s an abstract concept to us, and when we are faced with it, it is crystallized into exactly what someone else did in their convictions. The Passion of the Christ didn’t make anyone uncomfortable who was a Christian, it gave them ideas of how to treat other people who believed in someone who thought they were God. “Well, my savior went through this so you can go through it on behalf of your false-prophet…”

8) Average Americans think they’re smarter than the Average American
I’m a little confused by this wording but I think I understand what they mean. I wouldn’t say I’m smarter than the Average American, I’m smarter than the dumb American, and at least my relatives.... only the American ones.

9) More Americans oppose “Obamacare” than “Affordable Care Act,” but they are the same
This must be an old survey because after Trump, we love calling it Obamacare.... although this goes to show how good branding can hurt or help any cause. But I always laughed when they called it Obamacare because the majority of the bill that was the Affordable Care Act was actually taken from a similar proposal made by a previous President who never got the chance to introduce it before he left office: Richard Nixon. So really, it should be called “Nixoncare”… but that’s probably even more of a PR problem than Obamacare.

10) Survey found that most Americans don’t trust Survey Results
I don’t believe this, I think it’s untruthful and that most surveys are trusted by Americans.