BSB, genes, dreams in --

I saw the Backstreet Boys with my friend on Saturday. I was just as excited as third-grade me would have been! It was a blast! I wish I could go back. :)

One thing I don't understand is getting trashed at a Backstreet Boys concert.

Jacob and I went to a free show for an hour on Saturday night. Reel Big Fish was playing. I used to listen to them and kind of forgot about them. It was fun! The only thing I don't like about going to shows while pregnant is all the smoke in the air. Ugh. It grosses me out and I feel like I want to punch the people around me because I'm in protective mama bear mode. I guess I shouldn't feel that way because they have a right to smoke outside and blah blah blah, but smoking is fucking disgusting, dude.

I'd like to see Streetlight Manifesto, and more ska bands. I saw Mustard Plug four years ago and they were AMAZING but I don't know if they play much outside of Grand Rapids... I haven't checked since then.

My mother is going slowly crazy, I think. She is on Clonopin now. I am not sure how to spell that. She makes things up in her mind, thinking people said things they didn't. It's really strange. She said she was on another thing, I think it was welbutrin, and it made her absolutely crazy. I guess awhile ago when she was having that weird meltdown it might have been the welbutrin. She has this weird notion in her head that none of her kids like her and want anything to do with her. But I asked to come visit a lot, and she always had an excuse as to why we couldn't. We finally went to her house yesterday, which is what prompted me to write all of this.

What a wondeful genetic background to have.

Actually, anxiety/depression/fun stuff runs on both sides of my family. I'm pretty screwed. I've dealth with panic attacks, anxiety, and depression my entire life. I feel bad that I might be passing it onto my kids. I guess I know what to look for and get them help when they need it, but it still sucks.

I had a weird dream last night that I was at Starbucks and some lady came up and got in front of me in line. I asked her why she cut in front of me, and she said she didn't. I yelled at her and somehow had half a cup of lukewarm coffee in my hand, and chucked it at her and stormed out of the Starbucks.

I'd never do that in real life. Dream-me is an interesting, albeit crazy, lady.