No more smoking. in Since OD is shutting down....

OKay so I tried to stop smoking a little over a month ago and just couldn’t do it and convinced myself I would only smoke just when I absolutely needed to and that turned into almost 2 packs a day pretty much everyday. I’m tired of coughing, smelling gross, the expense and worrying about the health issues. I haven’t smoked since Friday night and I’ve had a patch on each day. My emotions are all over the place. One minute I feel empowered and the next, I feel depressed and off balance.

I’ve quit smoking before but this time is a lot different. I feel like they’ve made cigarettes a lot more addictive over the years. It definitely seems harder this time than any other time I’ve stopped. I’ve been successful in the past and really felt okay after the first 3 days. I’m still waiting to peak either today or tomorrow and once I get over that hump, I know I’ll be okay. I feel very edgy, sometimes panicky, and emotional.

We didn’t go anywhere yesterday and I want to get a couple of things done today but I’m worried that being around stupid people will aggravate me enough to go get cigarettes so I’d rather consider going somewhere tomorrow and hope I feel a little more stable than I do today. I know my daughter is probably getting bored and everything but I have to get through my emotions first. I don’t want to buy any more cigarettes and I don’t want to risk anything happening to encourage that. I have a vape and I’ve considered getting stuff for it but I know that in the past, the vape wasn’t ‘enough’ and I just went back to smoking. Basically it’s either all in or nothing for me. I’m either a full blown smoker or I’m not.