I waited 2 days. in Journal 2022

I waited 2 days for anything. Anything at all.

I told myself to not be rash with making decisions. I’m gonna just dissappear for awhile, maybe a few months if everything goes as planned.

I just want rest, alot of people have tried to cheer me up and I appreciate it. I just feel insecure now online, irl, etc. I feel like I’m going to fall apart.

I took a early shower with steaming, boiling hot water and it didn’t help much. I just feel dead inside and maybe treating myself will help.

I ate food (I gave my brother and mom 20 dollars (I’ve given mom around 203 but that was for bills) to get food tho they apparently needed more) and felt happy a bit. But I’ve sat in bed and just cried, had no energy and cried.