"GOOD ENOUGH?" in "RESTLESS: POETICALLY-SPEAKING"

How can one lie so much and live with that? How well do they sleep every night? How much is at stake when one is so good at being so fake?

They look at me and sneer as they say: "Aren't you funny, my dear? You still think honesty's the best policy, when all you get is only disappointment, you see? Life's unfair, so what do you care?"

I try to smile, but all I do is snarl. I sense the closing-in of the wall. Have I sounded like a foolish weakling? Should I just step back without saying anything?

"You're a good person," one of them once said. "You don't need to lie." But I'm not sure it's a good enough one, when disappointment often makes me want to cry...

R.

(Jakarta, May 7, 1:40 pm)