He's being nicer now in Journal 2022

Joseph is being so kind now, it confuses me. He talks to me more often and compliments me and acts so gentle it hurts. It hurts because I really wanna be independent, I wanna make myself feel how he makes me feel.

But God, it’s impossible. I don’t think I have enough confidence to do so. And before you say it, yes I have a big ego, I can still have low self esteem while thinking I’m better than others.

I just feel warm inside, warm and fuzzy when he spends time with me. I wrote about it in a breakup forum and I just don’t feel completely okay? I feel like once he finds a girlfriend (I see him thirsting over…them) he’ll be all indifferent again.

Does anybody like me, like genuinely like me, Mariessa? I don’t know. I just wish I could be called pretty with it actually being the truth and not a ploy (not that he’s done that). I just feel sad and it makes me cry.