Blah in Current Events

The saga at work is not over, apparently. Linda broke her non-disclosure agreement, again, and ran her big mouth about our drama. Now the whole team believes that I called our aware line on our boss to report her being racist. That is not at all what happened. I brought this up to my boss because this entire thing is just embarrassing. My boss and I are trying to move on together but Linda will not keep her big mouth shut. This entire saga started because she cannot keep her big mouth shut. Then she lies and plays the victim.

I was feeling bad that I stopped driving this woman to and from work but not anymore. I do not owe this woman anything. Karma got her good though. She has a car but no license. I tried to support her in getting that license but she always had an excuse. Cabbing to work will cost her over $200 a check now so that should be some incentive. However, her car was just written off after her boyfriend hit a deer with it. Karma? lol

I do not work today. My hours have been reduced to what they are supposed to be. I have mixed feelings about it. I originally did not want to work full-time. I wanted the extra time for my studies. However, I cannot will myself to do anything. I am currently working with a life coach to work on this procrastination problem that I am having.

Focus is another issue I am struggling with. I cannot stay focused on anything. This is the bane of my existence. I need to work on becoming mindful. I know that I should be meditating but I cannot even bring myself to do that either.

I am going to start checking off some of my goals today. I already started. I’m starting with the small stuff. However, my avoidance routine is taking over. I’m going to get it out of the way ASAP. It’s just going to be me cleaning the apartment, doing my detox with a coffee enema and an Epsom salt bath, a workout, and then gaming. Then I will fail miserably to achieve anything and get a little depressed and tell myself that tomorrow is the day that I get it together. Whatever, I’m in a bad mood today.

Toni, my roommate, starts her new job today. I hope it goes well. Things are pretty much the same with her otherwise. I go out of my way to connect with her but she doesn’t change. She will never change. She will change everything else in her life except herself. While I was driving the other day, I saw her in my rearview mirror walking from the liquor store after her shift. The wind lifted up her hair and I was able to see how badly her alopecia is. Her body is flooded with toxic waste but she refuses to believe it because she feels fine. This woman is visibly diseased, I don’t think she even knows. How do you bring it up? Especially to someone who doesn’t want self-awareness?

Hey girl, you have become so toxic to yourself that you incurred an autoimmune disease. You are not a victim, you chose to suck at life and health. You need to develop your character and make better choices if you want things to change.

Do I project much? Shiiit.

I bought a dreamcatcher and put it in my window. Ever since I did that I have been dreaming again. Not about anything special. It was for aesthetics, I didn’t expect anything to actually happen lol.

I got into a philosophical debate with somebody at work. It wasn’t worth my time because gen x and boomers are cognitively defunct but Sean started to share his beliefs about politics, religion and medical and I am a heretic to everything so he wasn’t expecting me to object to anything. Long story short, he doesn’t listen to understand. He believes that we are supposed to just do, think and believe whatever authority tells us to because we are not intelligent to understand anything on our own. Gen x and boomers are broken. They have no discernment skills whatsoever, the majority of them. Sean is just another out-of-touch old-timer that failed to modernize and learn how to inform himself. He just repeats talking points from the news and tries to pass those off as a legitimate form of argument. It’s hard to witness a person commit to being stupid. It’s hard to interact with somebody that is too stupid to see that they are stupid. These people are a hazard to themselves and now to others.

Whatever, I am ready to move on with my day.