Jumble in 2014

"You need to make a selfish move... of some sort."

Someone told me that recently, and it's stuck with. In part, because I feel like I've always been very selfish with my time and energy. But also because I don't know what kind of "move" I'd make.

The main thing is that I'm pretty much out of gas.

"You really look exhausted."

Someone told me that at work the other day. It really struck me. I thought I was doing pretty well, but that means either I don't hide it as well as I thought or that I'm more drained than I thought. I'm not sure which. But then, add a decade of significant sleep problems plus a strong introverted personality plus a job that requires near constant interaction with people plus a 2013 full of emotional body blows and it's no wonder I'm out of gas.

I just don't know how to recharge.

Money's a worry right now, but I'm slowly making progress getting out of debt. It just too often feels like I have to take a step back every time I start to make progress.

I've really been thinking a lot lately about my writing. There are plenty of ideas in my head, and projects that would be good to get my back into that mindset that could be a lot of fun. But every time I sit down and try to write, all I can think is that it'd take less energy to run a marathon..... that I just want to go back to bed and sleep.

My second surgery (this one for the deviated septum) is tentatively scheduled for July 16th, but I have to get approval for time off from work first. But I also need to figure out things I can do other than just wait for that surgery. That's a month away... and likely won't be enough on its own to make a truly significant enough change for me. Or, at least I doubt seriously that my sleep problems, as bad as they've been, are the only serious factor in my exhaustion and apathy.

So....I need to figure out what I can do. What's draining me? What recharges me? What's within in my control?