Short one before the crumble in Second 1st

I honestly thought I’d died inside. That between Migraines, dizziness, medicine, stress, age, too comfortable.....it was just gone....that it’s been me....that I don’t want to because of those things. I’m tired, I’m dizzy, I’m not as pretty as I used to be, I’m bigger than I’d like to be. I’ve been told similar things in the past. I’ve been told I’m not enough. I’ve thought I’m just not enough and Rocky can’t tell me that, he doesn’t know how. After all he’s never grown up.

After this time with Jake I know what it is. It’s been really nice to feel things and be social. This is a whole different world. NONE of our friends are gamers, none of our friends spend all day on the computer. On the other side everyone has kids....we don’t need that lol......This is no new revolution though.

I’ve taken more emergency meds since I got here than I have in the 2 months prior but I’m having a great time. Reminding me of what life would be like if I wasn’t dizzy all the time.

The pot gummies haven’t done much. I still feel dizzy, I just care less.... cool like a mini vacation but I wouldn’t be able to do a job while on pot. Still would be good to get a few to take home for when I’m absolutely frustrated with a bad day.

Rocky called and asked me to breakfast. We will have a talk. He will be angry with me I’m sure, and we will deal with it. Maybe he’ll finally get what I’ve been cramming in his ears. “I need more time.” ....we will see. It’s easier to be on your best behavior when you are around others on vacation..... bet he’s up by 9 the whole time....especially after a talk....

He should be here soon.