Hey Brain, Set Reminder in Hello

3:05 AM.
Can’t sleep.
Had a bad weekend (alcohol influenced depression and a personal issue coming up) and when I went to work I was tired from another sleepless night. I tried and tried to get one of the last two aluminum sheets to adhere to the vacuum table but they wouldn’t.

I broke, went into the restroom and cried. A lot. Found the GM, explained the situation and why I’ve kinda been out lately. Took a mental health day a d came home. Fell asleep around 10 AM till 5 PM. Hence I can’t sleep again.

More tears were shed, a general feeling of “I have no idea what’s wrong” feeling all weekend. Dreamed I was arrested again. That put me in a down mood. During my vampire sleep I was plagued with more nightmares.

I’ve spent the last few hours reaffirming what I must do. I’ll get insurance at the start of next month.
GO BACK TO THERAPY YA TWIT!
Even if Michelle won’t see you get in touch with Dr. Gilbert and see if she can talk to her colleague and seeing me again.

The next bit I’m going to work on throughout the day. My brain is so ADHD’ed I’m going to have to make up a manual. A handwritten, pages long LIST of chores, tasks and general things to do in my free time to prevent this (start at the beginning) from happening again.

It’s not that I’m lazy, but I STILL can’t focus a lot of times. Or I tell myself that I’m tired or I’ll get it the next day. Also…as corny as this sounds (to me at least), Post-It Notes of some daily reaffirmation for my low esteem and mental health.

Post on the quit drinking sub reddit said get outside and get some sunshine and a little exercise. I haven’t had a daily exercise routine in 8 years. Didn’t lose weight but I did feel a lot better.

So, Mr. Jewell, when you come back to check bookmarks/comments you are going to be at least one step in the right direction you’ve listed here, correct?

Affirmation number 1, yes I will ‘cause yes I can.

(I want sleep…)
Jungle Cruise turned out to be a better movie than I thought. Mom loved it.