I need an outlet in My life

I just really need an outlet. I’m so scared of writing this right now because I’m worried people I know from real life will see this, but whatever. I need this outlet too.

I just don’t think he cares about how badly I want to be successful. I just want to do well. I just want to be respected. I want to try hard and reap the rewards. I am jealous of him that things seem to fall into place for him so easily. I know it’s not that and he deserves every bit of his success, but still. It just feels so unfair, I went through college having straight A’s and never partied, never drank, and he was just the opposite and now he’s doing so well and I struggle. Yes I’m jealous and such. Not great, right, since we’re getting married in like two months.

I feel like it’s so unwise for me to write in such a public space, but what else can I do?