what should i do with my hair color (pics) in Public Consumption

Okay, so I’ve undergone the arduous process of going blonde without professional help and somehow, SOMEhow, did NOT fuck it the fuck up.

I just wanted to see how it’d look, yanno? I haven’t seen my hair blonde since I was 12, when I started dyeing it and never looked back. (In the below pics, my hair is… maybe a level and a half? lighter than my natural blonde.)

I’ve decided that blonde, on me, looks… fine!

I don’t hate it. I don’t love it. I’m glad I did it just to see what it was like.

I’ll (probably) eventually put together a vid showing you (aka myself, in case I ever decide to do this again) all the stages. BUT NOT TODAY.

Anyway, despite getting it back into pretty incredible shape, I decided to chop a lot of length anyway. FRESH START, BABYYYYY.

LOVE THIS CUT. LOVE IT.

But! Now that I’ve been looking at it for longer… It feels very, uh.

It feels very normal?

Like, I am a normal adult with normal adult hair hihowareyou. It just feels wrong somehow.

I look like I’m about to go shopping for artisan candles.

I look like I have a lightly humorous welcome mat.

I look like I belong at the bipartisan healthcare reform conference I’m going to in a couple weeks.

I have no idea if these stereotypes are based in reality, or I invented them entirely in my head because I’m FUCKING WEIRD ABOUT MY HAIR IT TURNS OUT AND OH BOY DO I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS ON THAT WHICH I’LL SAVE FOR ANOTHER TIME. And like, I don’t think I’ve ever thought this way about anyone else’s hair? Especially not now, when zany hair colors are super normalized (where I live, at least) and indicate VERY LITTLE about someone’s personality or interests.

But I just… on me, I can’t seem to adjust to it. It feels like a wig.

I think I’ve outsourced my identity to my hair in truly unhealthy ways, and I didn’t realize it because I’m not actually attached to the hair itself? If I had to shave my head tomorrow, I’d be like “Awwww, this is gonna take a while to grow back out :/” and that’s about it. Shit, I’d probably find it kinda fun to play around with the bald look, since I’ve never shaved my head before and I bet I can do some fun shit!

So I’ve been thinking “woo check me out, I’m NOT unhealthily attached to my hair! Despite all the time I spend doing weird shit to it, I think I’m a little less attached than average…?”

Silly me. As though length is the only aspect of hair that a person can anxiously attach to.

.........okay I didn’t actually mean to get into all this shit. I meant to say, “this blonde combined with this cut makes me feel too normal, please help.”

I’m gonna keep my hair Artisan Candle Shopper Blonde until after I get back from the conference, because it’s probably legitimately good for my career to give off “socially liberal fiscally conservative volunteer zumba instructor for at-risk youths” vibes at this place full of policy people and some state legislators, since we’re all there to “network” god I hate fake email jobs.

Point is, I have a couple weeks to figure out what I wanna do and get all the necessary supplies, but I’m 98% sure I am NOT keeping this shit blonde.

The question is, what do I do?

I have a fairly blank canvas here, so I don’t wanna immediately jump back to my standard reddish orange (which is hard to get out). I wanna try some new shit!

Bear in mind, when it comes to semi-permanent dye, I have the shocking ability to fuck around and find out that I nailed it every fucking time.

I mean. Look. This was my first ever attempt at a gradient.

I had no right. NO RIGHT.

What I’m saying is, despite my utter lack of training and deficit of focus, the sky’s the limit with Hair Possibilities. Especially with a fairly light blonde as my starting point, AND short hair that’s much, much easier to dye than long hair.

TL;DR TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO TO MY “AD MODEL FOR SUDDENLY SALAD” HAIR, PLZ.

KTHXBAI

Last updated August 26, 2022